A little hurricane humor from Arkansas Fat's Dauphin Island page
YOU KNOW YOU'RE LIVING ON THE GULF COAST WHEN:
You have more than 20 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.
The freezer in your garage is full of homemade ice.
You flinch when you are introduced to a person named Charley, Frances, Ivan or Dennis.
You find yourself dropping words like "millibar" and "convection" into everyday conversation.
Your pantry contains more than 10 cans of Spaghetti Os.
Making coffee on your propane grill does not seem like an odd thing to do.
You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe place.
You are on a first name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
You are delighted to pay $2 for a gallon of unleaded.
The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
You have the number for FEMA on your speed dialer.
You own more than three large coolers.
You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
You catch a 5-pound catfish. In your driveway.
Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.
At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chain saw.
You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.
Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
Relocating to North Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
You know you're living on the Gulf coast
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