The Speech I wish Pres. Bush Would Make............

[stormchazer]

> WOULD IT NOT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV TUESDAY NIGHT
> AND SEE GEORGE W. BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH:
>
> My fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of
> Iraq's regime has been completed. Since congress does
> not want to spend any more money on this war, our
> mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the
> order for a complete removal of all American forces
> from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
> It is now time to begin the reckoning.
>
> Before me, I have two lists. List 1 contains the names
> of countries that have stood by our side during the
> Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom,
> Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the
> countries listed there. List 2 contains everyone not on
> the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that
> list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of
> both lists later this evening.
>
> Let me start by saying that effective immediately,
> foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases
> immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during
> the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs
> of the Iraqi war. The American people are no longer
> going to pour money into third world hell-holes and
> watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
>
> Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic?
> Call France. In the future, together with Congress, I
> will work to redirect this money toward solving the
> vexing social problems we still have at home.
>
> To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work
> out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is
> closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for
> negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
> tables, too.
>
> I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic
> relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for
> all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as
> well. Bon chance, mes amis.
>
> I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin
> towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in
> Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to
> sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded
> and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty
> pertains to this. You creeps have 10's of thousands of
> unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch
> your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over
> to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love
> New York.
>
> A special note to our neighbors - Canada on List 2,
> Since we are going to be seeing a lot more of each
> other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off
> for a change.
>
> And to Mexico, also on List 2, President Fox and your
> entire corrupt government really need an attitude
> adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and
> infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I'm
> gonna put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing
> something with your oil. Oh, by the way, the United
> States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty---starting now.
> We're tired of the one way highway. It is time for
> America to focus on its own welfare and its own
> citizens.
>
> Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them
> saying darn tootin'. Nearly a century of trying to help
> folks live a decent life around the world has only
> earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on
> the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America.
> It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is
> time to eliminate World Cup soccer from America.
>
> To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys.
> We owe you and we won't forget.
>
> To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Get lost.
>
> God bless America.
>
> Thank you and good night.
>
> "If you can read this, thank a teacher"
>
> "If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier"
>
>

[Brent]

That would be great.