No Child Will Be Left Behind In Massachusetts

[chadtm80]

No Child Will Be Left Behind In Massachusetts



Reacting to Federal Guidelines, the state of Massachusetts,

which has been highlighted as a role model for student testing

by the two Senators from the State, Ted Kennedy and John

Kerry, released the following outline of their program.



In response to the Federal No Child Left Behind Act,

students will have to pass it to be promoted to the next

grade level. In the hope that it will be uniformly adopted by all

the states, thus illuminating Massachusetts to a glorious front

runner position in education, it will be called:

the Federal Arithmetic and Reading Test (FART).



All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will

be retested in grades 3-5 until such a time as they are capable

of achieving a FART score of 80%. If a student does not

successfully FART by grade 5, that student shall be placed in a

separate English program,the Special Massachusetts Elective for

Learning Language (SMELL).


If with this increased SMELL program the student cannot pass
the required FART, he or she can graduate to middle school by
taking a one-semester course in Comprehensive Reading and Arithmetic
Preparation (CRAP).

If by age fourteen the student cannot FART, SMELL or CRAP, he
or she will earn a promotion through an intensive one-week seminar.
This is the Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted
Students (PRUNES).

It is the opinion of the Massachusetts Department of Public
Instruction that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any
student to FART, SMELL or CRAP.

Senators Kennedy and Kerry stated that this revised provision of
the student-testing testing program should definitely help clear the
air.

[Guest]

LOL. Chad where do you find things like this?
...Jennifer...

[stormraiser]

[Skywatch_NC]