Do you, did you?

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azsnowman
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Do you, did you?

#1 Postby azsnowman » Thu Mar 13, 2003 10:14 pm

For those of us with young uns (well, my yougest is 13, oldest is 19) did you or do you spank, support corpral punishment? Me, you bet your bippy I did, does this make me a child abuser? I DON'T THINK SO....that's the problem with society today, kids have TOO damn many rights, you look crossed eyed at them, they will call CPS and turn your butt in for child abuse NO QUESTIONS asked, truly a sad world this is and the heck of it is, it's getting WORSE with each passing day. Remember the days of spanking in schools? MAN....I got MY fair share, got my butt blistered MANY, MANY times for talking back to the teacher, not to mention OTHER things :roll: (yes folks, ol snowman wasn't ALWAYS snow white :P ) Shoot, nowadays, a teacher raised his/her voice, they suspend their license, 10-15 prison term, they are afraid of their students!! :grr: Who's to blame for all this BS, the ACLU and other radical pacifist organizations.

Dennis
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Derek Ortt

#2 Postby Derek Ortt » Thu Mar 13, 2003 10:21 pm

While I dont have children, I believe that a good spanking is good for a child. It teaches them right from wrong. If a child doesn't want to be spanked, then he or she should simply behave. Behave; wow, what a marvel idea.
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#3 Postby HeartofNC » Thu Mar 13, 2003 10:31 pm

I spanked, and I've got a wonderful 14 year old son to prove that it works - I'm very proud of him and I get compliments on him all the time!

I'm talking spanking, not beatings, like I got, with a police belt...
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#4 Postby pojo » Thu Mar 13, 2003 10:33 pm

I was spanked as a child...hand, belt, paddle, you name it had it! Same with my brother. We also get compliments on our behavior in public.
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#5 Postby Amanzi » Thu Mar 13, 2003 10:37 pm

Well Dennis. I come from SOUTH AFRICA (lol) and they only stopped corporal punishment in the school system a few years ago, we are only catching up with the US a little and some ideas are still in the dark ages. South African children in *general* are taught. Speak when spoken to. An adult always speaks first, and NEVER interrupt. A boy got 6 cuts at school for speaking out of line or rudeness (Im not sure if you use the same term here, but it is a cane) the girls got a slap on the palms with a ruler.

I have never hit my child with anything but the palm of my hand. And those are very few and far between (reserved for occasions of deliberate defiance) But when he gets older I am sure his Dad will take over the spanking cause he will more than likely be bigger than me!

God's word says spare the rod and spoil the child!
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#6 Postby wx247 » Thu Mar 13, 2003 10:41 pm

I was spanked once in a while as a child and I think it did me good. We had to watch this thing about spanking in high school and there was this group of people who said they were traumatized by it. Either their parents crossed the line between spanking and beating or they just need to get over it. :roll:
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#7 Postby rainydaze » Thu Mar 13, 2003 10:43 pm

My kids are 9 now (yes twins) and we did use spanking as a punishment when they were young. But we never "hit" them in anger, you just put them over your laps give them a couple pops and its over. By the time they were 5 we didn't really spank anymore because now there was bikes, video games, friends etc. We started punishing them by grounding them from their stuff or friends. It's been like that since and I can't really remember the last time they got spanked. Today, they are great kids, very respectful of adults and when it comes to the important stuff they listen. So I would say it's ok, as long as you make it a controled punishment and don't just slap them or hit them in anger without warning. JMHO :)
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#8 Postby HeartofNC » Thu Mar 13, 2003 10:43 pm

Garrett, most likely the latter.
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#9 Postby OtherHD » Thu Mar 13, 2003 10:56 pm

Yikes! Um, still a kid here lol (well sort of) spanking??? No way! :lol: hehehe

Dennis, you rolled your eyes at me!! I'm calling the police!! :grrr:
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#10 Postby streetsoldier » Thu Mar 13, 2003 10:56 pm

As a survivor of unspeakable physical and emotional abuse as a child, my belief is that ANY use of force, other than in defense, constitutes abuse. I do not, and have never found it necessary to employ it, and I don't support the use of corporal discipline under any circumstances.

In my case, it was not just "spanking"; it was food and sense deprivation, enforced social isolation, verbal badgering, and constant beatings, with belts, boards, ropes, fists and kicks...and when it WAS "just spanking", it was always done to maxmize the physical pain and emotional embarrassment...i.e., gathering all my siblings to watch, and some things I can't divulge here.
Last edited by streetsoldier on Thu Mar 13, 2003 11:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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#11 Postby CajunMama » Thu Mar 13, 2003 11:12 pm

I swatted my kids with my hand only when they were really bad. "Time Out" was a joke. My son who is now 19 and a good kid had the belt used on him only one time in his life and he never, ever threw dirt clods on the house under construction again or went on the property again.
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#12 Postby JQ Public » Thu Mar 13, 2003 11:17 pm

I'm 20 was slapped enough to learn smthg from it while young and i don't think i woulda turned out so nicely if i didn't get a slap or two everyonce and a while. Us "brown folk" sure do get slapped by our parents. And my parents were slapped too in and out of school
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#13 Postby Rob-TheStormChaser » Fri Mar 14, 2003 6:09 am

Seems like kids get off much easier now than ever. While I have no kids, I had an ex who did and she wanted me to hit them when they were troublesome. Thats not my style, and also if I did I'd be in deep caca if I did it in front of the right people. There's other ways to correct a child w/o hitting them and demeaning them in the process. Some carry the hitting and 'abuse' into later years and could cause them to lash out in ways of their own. Things are lax nowadays, but still punishment should be used properly.
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#14 Postby streetsoldier » Fri Mar 14, 2003 8:24 am

Rob and all,

Why do you think I became a policeman after my military service?

NOT out of some deep-seated need for "revenge", but to stand BETWEEN weak, helpless people and the predators who feed thier sick agendae upon them.

This, I learned later, was almost preordained; studies have shown that 2 out of 5 lawmen were victims of abuse as children, and react to that in the same way I did...as a PROTECTOR, not as an abuser.

My previous statement still stands.
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#15 Postby azsnowman » Fri Mar 14, 2003 8:29 am

I FULLY agree, there IS a difference between *spankings and beatings* I NEVER flew off in a fit of rage and BEAT my kids (although there were times LOL!)

I agree with you Rob (first time for everything I guess) HOWEVER, not every kid that's punished carries it the extreme, I was spanked pretty damn good from time to time by my mother, my father would not lay a hand on me, he MENTALLY messed with my mind, did I turn out to be a wife beater, dog kicker?? I don't think so, now my kids, like it's been said, have been raised with some very strict discipline and have turned out to be piliars in society (in Chris' case) my daughter is in the top 2% of her class.

Dennis
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#16 Postby Stephanie » Fri Mar 14, 2003 9:36 am

I had been spanked when I was a child also - which I'm sure I needed it from time to time! I think children need to be disciplined and if that means a spanking, then so be it. However, there is a fine line between discipline and abuse and until we are able to define it better, we will always have this debate.
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#17 Postby isobar » Fri Mar 14, 2003 2:15 pm

You're right Steph, there's a fine line - that's gotten much finer these days.

I think, if at all possible, corporal punishment should be avoided. However, much depends on the temperament of the child and the parent. But I think generally it doesn't set a good example of how to resolve a problem. Not all children who are not spanked are spoiled brats (although some are). My kids respond very well to positive reinforcements, natural consequences, and suspended privileges (that hurts them a lot worse!).

streetsoldier - I'm really sorry. No child or any living thing should endure what you did. But you bring up a good point about going into law enforcement. You used your experiences for something positive. However, many don't, and if we went around to all the prisons in this country, I wonder how many of the violent offenders were abused as children? Nearly 100%? I think so.

To make a long story even longer ... as a parent, it takes a great deal of self-control to not cross the line when you're angry. I choose not to go near it.
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#18 Postby stormraiser » Fri Mar 14, 2003 2:28 pm

Ok, my 2 cents.

As one who was corporally punished, I can say, I am for it. Yes, my dad went overboard at times. Yes, I went through a time when I despised him. But, yes, by the time I hit 21, I realized the wisdom he had and that his heart really was to put me in the right direction. I saw how, despite my mother taking off on the 4 of us, he dealt with the hurt and continued to care for us.

Now, as the parent of 4 wonderful children, I do use discipline. I dealt with my family problem of alcohol abuse, so I can judge my actions. I don't strike in anger. I hold a high standard and my children, too, when they are older, will thank me. My dad's sister was on the other extreme. My cousins got away with murder, and their lives are now a mess. My brother, sister and I are all three happily married with good, healthy, happy children. The cousins are still at home, with broken families, mooching off of momma.

I don't say that a lack of discipline makes one a bad person. I am only stating the facts in my family experience.

Discipline out of love and care, not out of anger.
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#19 Postby mf_dolphin » Fri Mar 14, 2003 4:59 pm

I have absolutely no problem with corporal punishment! :D I was spanked as a child (not as often as I deserved it) when I crossed well defined lines. I knew sometimes that what I was doing would end up in a spanking but I did it anyway. Those were decisions I made because I wanted something more than I didn't want a spanking. In other words, there was a reward and punishment. My choice. :lol: My parents never "beat" me but we got some pretty good spankings!!! I would never condone beating a child but there is a difference. With my 4 children two needed spankings to correct behavior but the other two all it took was the old "Evil Eye". :grrr:
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#20 Postby azsnowman » Fri Mar 14, 2003 6:59 pm

I have seen too many kids that DON'T get the discipline and as it's been said, they RUN the house, they run over their parents, do as the wish because they know they can get away with it, take my niece for instance, she doesn't believe in corpral punishment and her son, my God, he's a HOLY TERROR and only getting worse, this kids gonna wind up in juvy hall, he's only 13 and the kids heading down the wrong road already!

Dennis
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