How to take a shower---Woman vs. Man

[CaptinCrunch]

>How To Shower Like a Woman

> 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

> 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

> 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups

> 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

> 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

> 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

> 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes...

> 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

> 9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

> 10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

> 11. Shave armpits and legs.

> 12. Turn off shower.

> 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

> 14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

> 15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

> 16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

> 17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.





>How To Shower Like a Man

> 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

> 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake weiner at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

> 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your weiner and scratch your ass.

> 4. Get in the shower.

> 5. Wash your face

> 6. Wash your armpits.

> 7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

> 8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.

> 9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

> 10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

> 11. Shampoo your hair.

> 12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

> 13. Pee.

> 14. Rinse off and get out of shower.

> 15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.

> 16. Admire weiner size in mirror again.

> 17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

> 18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake weiner at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

> 19. Throw wet towel on bed.

[pojo]

That's the truth!

[OtherHD]

OMG ROFL...my face is so red after reading this!

[TexasStooge]

LOL!!! Funny!!!

[StormCrazyIowan]

OMG so hilarious!!!!!

But GEEZ, GET IT RIGHT, it's LAVENDER body wash!!

[george_r_1961]

ROFL

[deb_in_nc]

That's too long for me. I'm in and out in 5-10 min. tops. I don't use a razor. I use Nair, only takes 4 min. Besides I'm not good with sharp instruments. The hair might go but so will some skin.

Debbie

[StormCrazyIowan]

Well, having just taken a shower, I can tell you that I didn't scrub or use tilex, BUT....you forgot the application of lotion and/or baby oil fresh out of the shower! (Hey, it's dry here!)

My quick shower? 35 minutes! I won't even tell you how long I can be in the bathroom if I'm taking my time!!

[PTrackerLA]

LMAO! I especially liked the "shake the weiner and make the woo woo sound" lol!

[StormCrazyIowan]

It's probably so true it's scary!!

[Amanzi]

It's probably so true it's scary!!

Being married, all I can say is you have no idea

[stormchazer]

I resent that...I throw the wet towel on the floor!

[JCT777]

I thought peeing in the shower was supposed to be men's little secret.

[coriolis]

I would tell you what my wife shakes at me, but it would get me in trouble.

[Guest]

LMAO!