To All Employees

[bfez1]

December 1st To: ALL EMPLOYEES
> > I am happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will be held
>on
> > December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbeque. There will be lots of spiked
> > eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing
> > along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed up as Santa
> > Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchanging gifts among employees can
>be
> > done at this time; please remember to keep gifts to the agreed $10.00
> > limit.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Merry Christmas to you and yours.
> > Patty Lewis
> > Human Resources Director
> >
> > December 2nd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
> > In no way was yesterdy's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
>We
> > recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides
>with
> > Christmas (though not this year unfortunately). However, from now on
> > we're calling this party our "Holiday Party." The same policy also
>applies
> > to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no
> > tree, or Christmas carols sung.
> > Happy holidays to you and yours.
> > Patty Lewis
> > Human Resources Director
> >
> >
> > December 3rd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
> > Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
> > Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this
> > request, but please remember that if I put up a sign on the table that
> > reads "AA ONLY," you won't be anonymous any more. In addition, we will
>no
> > longer be having a gift exchange since the Union members feel that
>$10.00
> > is too much money.
> > Patty Lewis
> > Human Resources Director
> >
> >
> > December 7th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
> > I have arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest away
> > from the dessert buffet, and for pregnant employees to sit closest to
>the
> > restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have
> > to sit with the gay men; each group will have their own table. And,yes,
> > there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table! Happy now?
> > Patty Lewis
> > Human Resources Director
> >
> >
> > Decenber 9th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
> > People,people!! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to
>play
> > Santa Claus! Even if the anagram for "Santa" does happen to be "Satan",
> > there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit'.
> > Patty Lewis
> > Human Resources Director
> >
> >
> > December 10th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
> > Vegetarians- I've had it with you people!! We're holding this party at
> > Luigi's Open Pit Barbeque whether you like it or not!! You can just sit
> > at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and
>you'll
> > get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know,
> > tomatoes have feelings, too! They scream when you slice them. I've heard
> > them scream. I'm hearing them right now. Ha! I hope you have a rotten
> > holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?
> > The mean lady from Hell !
> >
> >
> > December 14th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
> > I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
> > from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to
> > her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel
> > the Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon off with full pay on
>the
> > 23rd.
> > Terri Bishop
> > Acting Human Resources Director
> >
> >

[stormraiser]

Sounds about right there Bonnie.

[Guest]

ROFL - that sounds like corporate america...

[southerngale]

Yep, sure does.

[JCT777]

LOL! Another victim of political correctness.

[Stephanie]

I've seen this before and it's hysterical.

You can't please everyone, that's for sure!

[VanceWxMan]

That was great thanks LOL

Aaron