"COMPETITIVE SALARY" = We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" - We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" - We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED" - You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED" - Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY" - Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" - We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED" - Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON" - If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE" - We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE" -
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST" - You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS" - You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS" - Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
