Ok it is a joke not from internet I made it up

[coriolis]

Congressional Democratic leaders rolled out draft legislation today which would create a new entitlement in an effort to provide fairness to all Americans. In a last minute announcement before the holiday recess, Democratic Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton announced that work is starting on the proposed Federal Lawn Equity Act. It was expected that work would begin in earnest on this legislation after the recess, and it is expected to be a centerpiece of the Democratic platform in the 2004 election campaign. Republican leaders blasted this proposal as a "blatant vote buying scheme." GOP senators vowed to block this bill by all available means, even a fillibuster if necessary. "This proposal will ensure that all Americans will enjoy a green lawn, something that the priviledged few have enjoyed for many years," asserted Democrat Michael Ross, of the House Subcommittee on Livestock and Horticulture" Ross added that "there is a huge disparity in lawn quality, which closely parallels economic class and disposable income. "This is a fairness issue," he continued, "and the minorities and underprivledged are being left out in the mud."

The Democratic proposal would create a new bureau within the US Department of Agriculture to oversee administration of this act, which includes subsidies for "lawn-poor" citizens, with special educational programs and technical assistance for "dirt-poor" persons in areas of marginal soil. Democratic Leader Tom Daschle added that " A green lawn is part of our heritage and can only be construed as a fundamental right."

The legislation would provide grants to individuals based on income and lawn quality. The USDA would hire approximately 1.7 million new field personnel to evaluate lawns and determine grant amounts. Grants would cover the purchase of seed and mulch, and pay the costs of professional landscaping services for those needing it.

Senator Zell Miller, (D-GA), the lone Democrat opposing this bill stated in a press release, "This is a transparent vote buying scheme by the Democrats to buy the votes of couch potatoes. The cost of this bill
is staggering. If people want a green lawn, they should work for it." He characterized this proposal as "Lawn-fare," and "one more bailout for unmotivated persons."

Democrats hope to win President Bush's support by including $80 billion in additional funds for the Department of Homeland Security to provide emergency lawn kits for lawns damaged by terrorist attacks. Bush was reportedly mulling over this provision and may view it favorably. The support of Democratic Senator Hillary Clinton was initially in question because of her concerns for underpriveledged inner city persons with no lawn at all. Her support was obtained after a compromise plan for vouchers for the purchase of artifical turf was included, which the poor could use anywhere in their residence. New regulations are proposed which would require owners of rental properties to upgrade lawns or provide the artificial turf. Tax incentives would be provided for these landlords. Support of the California delegation was obtained with a deal to provide grants to California universities for research on this issue.

A spokesman for Earthfirst! was reached by phone and indicated that the environmenal activist organization would support the bill, provided that chemical fertilizers and pesticides would be prohibited.

The proposed legislation would have a price tag estimated at $425 billion, which would be funded through increased taxes on gas grills, gazebos, and other "artifacts of conspicuous backyard consumption."

Democratic leaders predicted that this legislation will be ready for passage by October 2004, just before the elections. The democrats are planning to make this a major election issue which no member in congress can oppose.

[mf_dolphin]

ROFLMBO

[stormy]

i havent heard this, but give me a break this has got to be a joke. but then again hillary is a joke.

[stormraiser]

Yes, she is. I didn't vote for her, but she happens to be the wonderful :rolleyes: senator from the state I live in.

[coriolis]

A joke? I report, you decide.

[Stephanie]

I hope it is a joke!!

[george_r_1961]

Sounds like another way to waste taxpayers money.

[breeze]

Lmao.....LMao.....LMAo......LMAOOOooooo!!!!

[Lake Effect1]

This has got to be a joke!!!! Where can we find out if this is for real??? mad!mad!

[coriolis]

Gotcha! I made it up.

[Stephanie]

Uh, April Fools?? :-?

[blizzard]

I don't understand why anyone would even consider tht this would be factual.

[firefighter16]

I can't believe I read that whole thing......

[Lake Effect1]

We're talking government here, nothing is too surprising where they are concerned .

[blizzard]

We're talking government here, nothing is too surprising where they are concerned .

Hit it right on the head there....