Standing Your Ground

[Janice]

Do you give in or stand your ground when you have an argument with your spouse, etc.?

The first few years of our marriage, I gave in. Then I started standing my ground. Now, I could care less who wins.
Life is too short.

[Windswept]

I gave in for years for the sake of peace. Then "gave" him the ground out front were I placed all his stuff... I took back all the rest.

[azsnowman]

Hey....I LOVE sleeping in my own BED at night, I give in ALL the time

[Pburgh]

Dennis, I alway said you were a smart man!!!

[JenBayles]

Great question! Dave and I divorced after nearly 10 years of marriage because we had no idea how to fight, i.e.: communicate. We both just clamped our lips shut when we disagreed and pretended it didn't exist. Next thing you know, we're divorced. That's what it took for us both to figure out that having a disagreement, even with shouting, did NOT mean the end of our relationship. We both have learned to blow off the small stuff, and stand firm on the things that are truly important to us as individuals. Honestly, we are more alike than not. We finally figured out that raised voices really don't matter. It's the communication of our ideas that really matters. It takes a lot more energy to listen to your partner and try to resolve problems than it does to just walk away from them.

We divorced in January of 1998, and remarried July 2005. Now, we both do so much better at discussing our differences (yes, even with raised voices!) and reaching some sort of mutual solution. Doesn't happen very often either. The vast majority of our lives we are on the same page. That old saying, "Don't go to bed mad," is something we now live by, along with, "Don't sweat the small stuff." And most of it usually IS, small stuff.