Immutable Laws

[TexasStooge]

I was sent this via e-mail, so I thought I'd share it:
[hr]
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease,your nose will begin to itch, or you'll have to pee.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs and/or Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson 's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

[abajan]

Let's see now...

The Law of Mechanical Repair reminds me of a story I once heard on a tape:
There was this guy whose mistakenly stuck his finger up his nose after dealing with horse manure.

Thereafter wherever he went he sniffed the air and proclaimed "This place stinks!". No matter where he went, the result was the same - even when he travelled to foreign lands.

Eventually he became totally disgusted and stated quite emphatically: "The whole world stinks!"

The Variation Law happens because of the "herd mentality".

Law of Rugs and/or Carpets
Regardless of the floor covering, an open faced jelly sandwich would tend to land face down because the center of gravity of the slice of bread shifts towards the jellied side. But I know what you mean

Oliver's Law is funny but true.

[MiamiensisWx]

I have seen these statements on numerous occasions. They are very true!

[Terrell]

Those are great. I especially like the one about close encounters, and mechanical repair

[Old-TimeCane]

One I read a while back that has always stuck with me:

A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.

[pojo]

So True!