TWW'S CRAZY NEWS STORIES

[TexasStooge]

Police return small fortune thrown out with trash

TOKYO, Japan (Reuters) - A Japanese man wept for joy this week when he recovered 5 million yen (24,000 pounds) in cash his wife had mistakenly thrown out with the household rubbish.

The 35-year-old man had withdrawn the money from a bank account but, fearing it would be stolen, he hid it inside a refuse bag which he placed in a rubbish bin, Japanese media said.

His wife unknowingly threw out the bag, which was found last month at a refuse collection point outside an apartment building in Saitama, north of Tokyo.

Local police returned the money after the man was able to give details of the exact amount and where he had withdrawn it.

Many Japanese keep large quantities of money hidden in their homes and cash is often used for business transactions.

[TexasStooge]

Jaywalking Ticket Brings Fame

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (AP) - Mayvis Coyle got more than just a $114 jaywalking ticket for taking too long to cross a busy street.

With the 82-year-old woman's fine has come international celebrity — she has camera crews showing up at her home, invitations to appear on television and support from around the world.

"I didn't want all this publicity," Coyle said Thursday. "But I'm not objecting to being used if it gets the lights changed and gets respect for the elderly."

Los Angeles police officials say Coyle entered a busy San Fernando Valley intersection on Feb. 15 after the red "Don't Walk" sign began blinking. They say the department is cracking down on wayward pedestrians because an increasing number of them are being killed by cars.

Coyle says she began shuffling across the intersection with her cane in one hand and groceries in the other on a white "Walk" signal. The great-great-grandmother plans to fight the ticket.

Her plight has drawn attention from blogs such as the Drudge Report and media around the world. "STICK YOUR FINE," Scotland's Glasgow Daily Record said.

Now, camera crews show up at Coyle's trailer unannounced, asking her to tell and retell her story. Because she doesn't have a phone, the trailer park's office manager has been taking messages; "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" called Thursday, wanting to book an appearance.

People who e-mailed the Los Angeles Daily News, which first reported Coyle's story on Monday, generally agreed that the officer should have simply escorted her across the street.

"Where are the Boy Scouts when you need them?" wrote one reader from Washington state. "This is so beyond ridiculous!"

The office of City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo is reviewing Coyle's ticket, spokesman Frank Mateljan said.

City Councilwoman Wendy Greuel has directed transportation officials to figure out how to make signals longer near senior housing and community centers. They've already lengthened the walk light at the intersection where Coyle was ticketed.

[TexasStooge]

Trapped NYC Cat Enters Day 13 of Captivity

By RICHARD PYLE, Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK (AP) - With Molly the fugitive feline sending out distress calls from a few feet — or maybe just inches — away, animal rescue and city experts tried anew on Thursday to lure the 11-month-old black cat from the innards of a 19th century building where she has been trapped for nearly two weeks.

The low-key drama, with no end in sight, was playing out in the basement wall and ceiling of a Greenwich Village delicatessen, where Molly had been official house mouser until wandering into a narrow space between walls and becoming lost in what rescue supervisor Mike Pastore described as "a maze of beams and pipes, going every which way."

With city building officials on hand to supervise, more bricks were hammered out in the cellar of the 157-year-old, four-story building on Hudson Street. The edifice is part of a landmarked historic district where alterations are prohibited without official permission.

Pastore said he hoped Molly's situation would be seen as enough of an emergency "so that we can knock out a few more bricks."

In another move, two kittens were brought to the scene in a carryon cage, in hopes that their mewing might trigger Molly's maternal instincts enough to draw her out.

Pastore, field director for Animal Care & Control, a private organization with a city contract to handle lost, injured and unwanted animals, said the rescue was the most difficult in his experience. "I've done this dozens of times — even in zero neighborhoods where you're lucky to get out alive," he said.

Molly's meowing could be heard so clearly on the sidewalk outside the building that it seemed she might be a foot or less inside the wall, though blocked from view by vertical studs and other obstructions.

"She's right there," said Pastore. "I'd like to be able to reach in and grab a piece of fur. That's what's so frustrating."

On Wednesday, bricks had been carefully removed at various spots to give Molly an escape route. Molly stayed put. Pastore's team later got a fleeting look at Molly through a tiny video camera snaked into the crawl space, but could not reach her. A cage, baited with food, was left overnight. Molly didn't bite. Even catnip, the feline aphrodisiac, had no effect on the timorous tabby.

Television reporters solicited the views of dog walkers and other passersby who paused to watch the activity that was making headlines across the United States and abroad.

"I think she's really scared, but I think she will come out," offered Katherine Mehta, 10, who was walking her small dog, Pepito, with baby sitter Philomena Brady.

On Thursday, a self-described "cat therapist," Carole Wilbourne, knelt on the sidewalk next to the building's outer wall and tried to coax Molly out with what she hoped were soothing words.

"I hear you, sweetheart," she cooed. "Come on, Molly, you can do it...everybody wants you to come out... nobody's going to hurt you."

After a few minutes, one of Pastore's aides, wearing a surgical mask, emerged from the dusty cellar and asked Wilbourne to stop. "I think you're stressing her out," she said.

Wilbourne complied, saying that she had been trying to "give inspiration" to the wayward cat. "I care," she told reporters. "I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't."

Amid the activity, business went on inside Myers of Keswick, a delicatessen that specializes in meat pies, clotted cream and other British food specialties. "I'm very busy," said proprietor Peter Myers, who opened the store 20 years ago and kept Molly to catch mice.

Pastore said the search for Molly was only one of the current concerns at Animal Care & Control, coinciding with the recovery of a male sheep in Queens and a wild turkey, named Hetta Gobbler, that was roaming the grounds of a Manhattan apartment complex, and was to be released into a park on Friday.

[TexasStooge]

Student Can Recite Poem With Profanity

By SANDRA CHEREB, Associated Press Writer

RENO, Nev. - A federal judge gave a ninth-grader permission Thursday to recite a poem at a state competition that his school objected to, claiming it contained profanity.

The words "hell" and "damn" in W.H. Auden's "The More Loving One," do not constitute offensive language that could disrupt the school's educational priorities, said U.S. District Judge Brian Sandoval.

He issued a temporary restraining order sought by Jacob Behymer-Smith, 14, after school administrators at the Coral Academy of Science told him he could not use the poem in future competitions.

The teen intends to recite it April 22 during Poetry Out Loud, a contest sponsored by the National Endowment of the Arts and the Poetry Foundation.

In granting the injunction, Sandoval said there was "a total absence of any evidence" that the school's prohibition was legal under the U.S. Constitution and that the teen likely would be able to prove his First Amendment rights were being violated.

Academy attorney John Ohlson said Sandoval's ruling was not unexpected. He had argued the issue was not about free speech, but the schools' ability to set educational standards.

Behymer-Smith selected his poem from an anthology of preapproved works by contest sponsors.

A day after he recited the poem at a district contest April 5, academy human resources dean Steven West reprimanded his English teacher and others for the performance. West then told the teen to select another poem because the Auden work contained profanity, according to court documents.

In a hearing Wednesday, the teen told the judge he's practiced the poem twice a day for two months, and that forcing him to choose another would be unfair.
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"I've been waiting for a month or two,
So where the bloody hell are you?"

OK, now that Aussie ad is stuck in my head. This happens when AussieMark isn't here. Why isn't he here?!

Alright, I gotta calm down...rewind...what would Mark do...WHY WASN'T HE HERE?!

[TexasStooge]

Controversial public intoxication busts on hold

By BYRON HARRIS / WFAA ABC 8

The Tobacco Alcoholic Beverage Commission has suspended its undercover bar busts, which removed people from bars and restaurants and charged them with public intoxication, indefinitely.

The TABC said it gives suspects field sobriety tests before they make arrests and often give breathalyzers as well. However, a group of men arrested in a sweep through Gun Barrell City last July said they didn't get any of that.

They were removed from the bar, handcuffed and thrown in jail for the night.

"The bond was exactly what we had in our pocket, $251," said Danny Browning. "I don't know if the county got that, the city got that or who got it."

Both men arrested paid their bond because they couldn't afford the time or money it took to fight the arrest in court.

Many bar owners and patrons who have been questioning the TABC's methods for the last several months said it's about time the project was suspended.

"I think they need to all be on the same page with the laws they make and the rules they make, and they're not," said Rita Allen, club owner.

TABC said its suspension of the program is not an admission that it did anything wrong. Authorities said they are taking a break to get input from the public, the legislature and the industry.

They also said they will assess the results of their own internal investigation, which is still pending.

[TexasStooge]

Jailed Child's Family Getting $221,000

ESPANOLA, N.M. (AP) - The family of a third-grader who was handcuffed and jailed after misbehaving at school will receive $221,000 from the city and its insurer to settle a lawsuit.

Jerry Trujillo, then 8, was sent the school counselor's office after he hit another child with a basketball in August 2004, his mother said. The juvenile citation for disorderly conduct said Jerry then "got out of control and refused to go back to class."

After police were summoned, Jerry was booked into the city jail, dressed in an orange jumpsuit and placed in a holding cell while adult inmates in a nearby cell taunted him, according to the lawsuit. He was released to his parents a half hour later.

The family's attorney, Sheri Raphaelson, said her clients were relieved Jerry would not have to testify. A jury already had been chosen to hear the federal civil rights lawsuit, but both sides filed a motion to dismiss the case on Monday.

The family will receive $85,000 initially, and the remainder of the settlement is to be paid over several years for Jerry's education and college fund. He now attends a private school.

The lawsuit named the police chief, school officials and others. The school district settled last October for $6,000 without admitting liability.

[TexasStooge]

Unusual Lizard and Toad Found in Malaysia

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) - Residents in rural Malaysia have found a two-tailed lizard and a toad with a 16-inch tail, news reports said Thursday.

Farmer Ahmad Mustafa caught the unusual green lizard with a split tail near his house last month in the northern state of Penang, the New Straits Times said in a report accompanied by a photograph of the strange reptile.

Fed a diet of worms, the lizard is now 5.9 inches long "and it has found a special place in Ahmad's heart," the Times said.

Also Thursday, The Star said a toad with a tail measured at 15.75 inches has drawn curious onlookers to the home of a woman in the southern state of Johor.

Chiew Ah Chan said she was cleaning her house on Wednesday when she saw the toad trying to hop out of a drain. An Indonesian worker nearby caught the toad and handed it to the family, which intends to release it in the jungles in a few days after curiosity in the neighborhood has subsided.

The Star also published a picture of the toad.

[TexasStooge]

Huge Chunk of Ice Crashes Through Gym

LOMA LINDA, Calif. (AP) - A 2-foot-long chunk of ice fell from the sky and tore through a college gymnasium roof, authorities said.

No one was in the Drayson Center at Loma Linda University when the slab of opaque ice hit on Thursday morning, although several people were outside.

"They said it sounded like an artillery shell going through the air," said Rolland Crawford, Loma Linda Fire Department division chief. "It was a whistling, whooshing sound."

Crawford said authorities aren't sure where the ice came from, but university spokeswoman Julie Smith said a building repairman saw an airplane flying overhead at the time. Maintenance workers bagged the ice, stuck it in a freezer and plan to hand it over to the Federal Aviation Administration.

FAA spokesman Mike Fergus said it will take at least a week for investigators to identify planes that were in the area 80 miles east of Los Angeles by reviewing radar records. But it may be impossible to determine where the ice came from, he said.

Ice that falls from an aircraft's galley or lavatory is blue, and ice that falls off fuselages tends to be only two or three inches thick, Fergus said.
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Information from: The Press-Enterprise

[TexasStooge]

NYC Cat Finally Rescued After 14 Days

By TIM McCAHILL, Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK - After 14 days trapped in the innards of a Greenwich Village building, Molly the cat finally emerged wearing a look on her face that said, "What's all the fuss about?"

As a crowd of reporters and onlookers jostled for a glance, the 11-month-old black cat appeared docile and unscathed despite her ordeal, which came to a happy end on Friday after a volunteer pulled her to safety from a crawl space.

"I think you'll all agree that she is in great shape," said a proud Peter Myers, a delicatessen owner in the building who kept Molly in his store to catch mice.

Molly's distressed meows — audible from the sidewalk outside the building — became international news, and rescuers worked almost around the clock for her safe retrieval.

The activity began after the cat wandered into a narrow space between walls and got lost in the building's complex network of beams and pipes.

Those involved in the rescue effort drilled and hammered out bricks in the cellar of the 157-year-old edifice, trying everything from special cameras to traps to locate her and get her out. Kittens were used as bait to appeal to Molly's maternal side. A pet psychic and self-described "cat therapist" even stopped by to offer a hand.

But in the end, it was good old-fashioned elbow grease that got the job done.

Rescuers drilled a hole in the wall from inside the store, cutting through layers of brick to get to Molly, said Mike Pastore, field director for Animal Care & Control of New York City, a private organization with a city contract to handle lost, injured and unwanted animals.

Animal Care & Control will set up a link on its Web site for people to donate to help with repairs at the deli.

Molly was finally retrieved by Kevin Clifford, a tunnel worker at a project nearby who had been volunteering for the rescue effort.

"I gave what they needed, and lent a hand to it," he said.

The animal didn't come easily at first, said Pastore.

"It was twisting and turning, paws were flying everywhere," he said. "It took a little struggle to put her back in a cage."

Molly's first meal? Nibbles of roasted pork, sardines in oil and water, Myers said. Hearty fare, but perhaps not surprising for a feline who spends her time in Myers of Keswick, a deli specializing in meat pies, clotted cream and other British food specialties.

"I'm amazed at how well she looks," Myers said. "She always was a fit cat, otherwise she wouldn't have survived 14 days in that hole."
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On the Net: Animal Care & Control of New York City

[TexasStooge]

NYC Bomb Squad Probe 'Suspicious' Stereo

NEW YORK (AP) - The police bomb squad, responding Friday to a call of a suspicious device inside a parked minivan in midtown Manhattan, blew out the vehicle's windows — only to find out the item inside was simply stereo equipment, police said.

The incident occurred when police received a 911 call from a passer-by who spotted the device inside a red minivan parked outside 4 E. 67th St., said police spokesman Dennis Laffin. It was a canister about the size of two shoe boxes, with a digital display of changing numbers and some loose wires visible.

"It looked suspicious," Laffin said. "I think anyone would have thought something was strange."

The police bomb squad responded after the 8:22 a.m. call, blowing out three side windows and the back window with a water propelled charge, Laffin said at the scene. A police robot was sent inside the van to take pictures of the device; the photos led police to determine the package was nothing more than stereo equipment.

The van's owner, a Bronx resident, has yet to hear the bad news about his windows.

[TexasStooge]

Couple Faces Charges in Glass-in-Food Scam

BOSTON, Mass. (AP) - A couple has been charged with filing fraudulent insurance claims that said they had eaten glass found in their food at restaurants, hotels and grocery stores, federal prosecutors said.

Ronald and Mary Evano filed the claims in Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Virginia, the District of Columbia and Maryland, an indictment made public Friday said. Mary Evano is still being sought.

The couple used aliases, false Social Security numbers and identity cards, and in some cases, had eaten glass intentionally to support their insurance claims, prosecutors said. The glass did not come from the food they had bought, prosecutors said.

In 1997, prosecutors said, Mary Evano went to Beth Israel hospital in Boston claiming to have eaten glass at a Boston restaurant. The couple, who were then apparently living in Weymouth, settled with the restaurant's insurer for $22,000, according to the indictment.

Between 1997 and 2005, the Evanos filed fraudulent insurance claims worth more than $200,000 and left a trail of unpaid medical bills worth more than $100,000, the indictment said.

The Evanos are charged with conspiracy and multiple counts of mail fraud, wire fraud, identity fraud, Social Security fraud and making false statements on health care matters.

Ronald Evano is being held by police in Maryland. He is scheduled to return to Massachusetts where he will be charged in U.S district court, the U.S. attorney's office said. It could not immediately be determined if they had attorneys.

[TexasStooge]

Cat in Germany saves baby's life

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) - A cat saved the life of a newborn baby abandoned on the doorstep of a Cologne house in the middle of the night by meowing loudly until someone woke up, a police spokesman said on Saturday.

"The cat is a hero," Cologne police spokesman Uwe Beier said. "Its loud meowing got the attention of the homeowner and saved the baby from suffering life-threatening hypothermia. The homeowner opened door to see why the cat was making so much noise and discovered the newborn."

Beier said the boy was taken to hospital at 5 a.m. on Thursday, when overnight temperatures fell towards zero, and had suffered only mild hypothermia. He said there was no indication of what happened to the boy's mother.

[TexasStooge]

Two fathers arrested after Abbey protest

LONDON, England (Reuters) - Two fathers' rights campaigners were arrested on Friday after scaling Westminster Abbey with a crucified dummy Jesus Christ, police said.

Two protesters demanding greater access to their children clambered up the historic landmark on Thursday with the dummy figure that wore a T-shirt bearing the words: "Our Father Who Art in Hell."

The "Real Fathers For Justice" said in a statement that they had staged their Easter protest to "demand that both parents be as equal in family law as they are in the eyes of God."

A police spokeswoman said: "They were arrested for aggravated trespass when they came down early this afternoon. They have been taken to a central London police station."

In January, the mainstream Fathers4Justice campaign group decided to disband after reports that police had foiled a plot to kidnap Prime Minister Tony Blair's five-year-old son Leo.

The group, which insisted that none of its current members had been involved in any kidnap plot, had staged several high-profile protests in the past few years.

A campaigner dressed as Batman climbed Queen Elizabeth's Buckingham Palace in 2004 and another threw purple flour bombs at Blair while he addressed parliament.
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Look what the people on MySpace started.

[TexasStooge]

Man Trading Up From Paper Clip to House

By BRIAN BERGSTEIN, AP Technology Writer

Kyle MacDonald had a red paper clip and a dream: Could he use the community power of the Internet to barter that paper clip for something better, and trade that thing for something else — and so on and so on until he had a house?

After a cross-continental trading trek involving a fish-shaped pen, a town named Yahk and the Web's astonishing ability to bestow celebrity, MacDonald is getting close. He's up to one year's free rent on a house in Phoenix.

Not a bad return on an investment of one red paper clip. Yet MacDonald, 26, vows to keep going until he crosses the threshold of his very own home, wherever that might be.

"It's totally overwhelming, I'm not going to lie," he said by phone from Montreal, where he and his girlfriend, Dominique Dupuis, live with two roommates. "But I'm still trading for that house. It's this obsessive thing."

The story begins last July.

MacDonald had spent years backpacking, delivering pizzas and working other part-time jobs, suiting his jack-of-all-trades, restless nature. He paid his $300 share of the rent by occasionally promoting products at trade shows.

But he yearned for one piece of settled-down adulthood: a house, which he knew he could not afford.

It's clear, however, that MacDonald has a knack for promotion. Asked what he had talked up at all those trade shows, MacDonald slipped right into his spiel for the employer, TableShox.com. "You ever sat at a wobbly table at a restaurant?" he said.

Beyond a gift for advertising table stabilizers, he's a geography buff, keeps a blog and writes short stories. Random interactions with strangers and the rich kitsch of North Americana provide his favorite material.

Put it all together, and you have the outline of MacDonald's quest.

He advertised it in the barter section of Craigslist.org, the Web site teeming with city-specific listings for everything from job openings to apartment rentals. At first, MacDonald said merely that he wanted something bigger or better for his red paper clip. No mention of a house — he feared seeming flaky.

While he was visiting his hometown of Vancouver, British Columbia, two women gave him a fish-shaped pen for the paper clip.

Later that day, MacDonald headed to Seattle to catch a ballgame and a flight home. Before the airport, though, he stopped to see Annie Robbins, an artist who had just stumbled upon the Craigslist barter section. She admired its anticonsumerist vibe, she said, so she answered MacDonald's posting "on a lark."

MacDonald left her home the proud owner of a small ceramic doorknob with a smiley face, made by the son of an artist Robbins knows.

Next up was Shawn Sparks, who was packing up to move from Amherst, Mass., to Alexandria, Va. Sparks, 35, is a huge fan of Craigslist barters, having acquired his 1993 Chevy Blazer in a trade for a used laptop.

Sparks offered MacDonald a Coleman camping stove. Sparks had two, and didn't want to lug both on his move. And he needed a new knob for his espresso machine.

Done. The men celebrated with a barbecue at Sparks' house.

MacDonald gave the camping stove to a Marine sergeant at Camp Pendleton, Calif., getting a generator in return.

East again. MacDonald swapped the generator for an "instant party package" — an empty beer keg, a neon Budweiser sign and a promise to fill the keg — proferred by a young man in Queens, New York City.

Before the trade, MacDonald left the generator in storage in his hotel. When he went to claim it, he was told it had been confiscated by the fire department because it was leaking gas.

"If there was ever a movie based on all that, that would be the closest to losing it all," he said, recalling his anguish.

But more on movies later.

MacDonald reclaimed the generator by tracking it to a firehouse in lower Manhattan, where he got a Tootsie Pop from the crew and petted their Dalmatian.

The beer package went to a Montreal disc jockey, in exchange for a snowmobile.

Here's where the project's grassroots purity may have gotten compromised. MacDonald's blog, http://oneredpaperclip.blogspot.com, was attracting attention, and MacDonald was invited onto Canadian television. Our wandering man was asked if there was anywhere he wouldn't go to trade the snowmobile.

An obscure place came to mind, so he spit it out: Yahk, a hamlet in the Canadian Rockies.

Some publicity-seeking ensued. A snowmobiling magazine offered an expense-paid trip to Yahk in exchange for the snowmobile. The trip went to Bruno Taillefer, Quebec manager for the supply company Cintas Corp. He got headquarters to let him give MacDonald a 1995 Cintas van that he had been planning to sell.

MacDonald gave the van — stripped of Cintas logos — to a musician seeking to haul gear. In turn, the musician, who works at a Toronto recording studio, arranged a recording contract, with studio time and a promise to pitch the finished product to music executives.

MacDonald handed the contract to Jody Gnant, a singer in Phoenix who owns a duplex.

And that is how Kyle MacDonald has turned a paper clip into a year of shelter in the desert.

Where it goes now, who knows. He says he has offers from Hollywood studios to turn his story into a film.

But he pledges not to accept gifts or overly lopsided trades that would undermine the peer-to-peer joy that he says has animated his journey. Asked what he has learned from all this, he responded:

"If you say you're going to do something and you start to do it, and people enjoy it or respect it or are entertained by it, people will step up and help you."

[TexasStooge]

More Pets Get Acupuncture for Ailments

By BENJAMIN MALAKOFF

ST. CLOUD, Minn. (AP) - Milo Hirt was a little uneasy last week. Recovering from knee surgery, he was about to be poked with 10 needles to help his recovery.

Acupuncture has been used for thousands of years on people, so this isn't a new practice. But Milo is a mastiff-boxer crossbreed, and the table was in Granite City Pet Hospital & Surgery Center.

He is one of a growing number of pets — household and other — who receive acupuncture to treat ailments.

During that 20-minute session, Milo had 10 needles inserted into various places on his body. He was receiving after-surgery treatment for a ruptured ligament in his knee.

The needles, inserted into his right hind leg — the one that had surgery — right foreleg, his head and back will speed the recovery. Four needles were connected to a machine that provides an electric charge to stimulate them.

"As people begin to look for alternative therapies for themselves, they search for them for their pet, too," said Alyssa Erlandson, a veterinarian at Granite City.

Erlandson is one of a handful of vets in the area who practice alternative healing methods for pets.

In the year Erlandson has been practicing acupuncture, she has treated arthritis pain, post-surgical conditions, seizures, inflammatory bowel disease, behavioral problems, urinary tract incontinence and other chronic conditions.

Erlandson usually recommends procedures and normal medications before suggesting acupuncture.

The needles stimulate nerves and release natural pain relievers. It won't cure things such as arthritis, but it will alleviate some discomfort. It can usually relieve urinary incontinence completely with several treatments.

Sergeant, a papillon from Foley, started acupuncture treatment three months ago. He now has it every other week to treat seizures.

"He has definitely cut down in the frequency and the strength of the seizures (after acupuncture)," said Sharon Rausch, Sergeant's owner. "They're much, much more mild than they used to be."

Seizures have plagued Sergeant for a while. He was taking steroids to help alleviate them, but the medication caused him to balloon to 19 pounds. A papillon is supposed to weigh 7 to 9 pounds.

Once, the seizures became so bad Sergeant was given Valium.

Since having acupuncture, the seizures are much more brief and less severe. They last five to 10 seconds. Before acupuncture, they would last up to a minute, with Sergeant lying on the floor, foaming at the mouth.

"He just sits there (during acupuncture)," Rausch said. "It doesn't bother him a bit. He has no aftereffects from it. Nothing. We're not going to definitely stop because there's been changes."

Janell Osborn, a vet at St. Cloud Animal Hospital, said she has seen acupuncture help animals heal.

She practices photonic acupuncture — a derivation of traditional acupuncture that uses light but doesn't go as deep or as long.

"As long as the animal's got the spirit, we can help," Osborn said.

She uses acupuncture for musculo-skeletal problems, vomiting without reason, afterbirth issues in horses, lung conditions and heart conditions.

She has practiced on a constipated lizard, a bird, cats, a horse, a rat and, soon, a llama.

"We're using more and more of it," Osborn said.

She said Eastern medicine looks at conditions differently than Western medicine. Vets can make pets better without having to know exactly what's wrong, Osborn said.

Acupuncture is just part of a well-rounded regimen of Eastern medicine the Chinese have used for years. The practice includes herbs and dietary therapy, Erlandson said.

"The difference between Western medicine and traditional Chinese medicine is we tend to treat the condition," Erlandson said. "Chinese (medicine) treats the whole animal."

Dietary therapy maintains the theory that foods can change the balance of animals.

The herbs, which come in pill form, can treat conditions. Quan Wan for urinary incontinence. Tan Tang for seizures.

With dietary therapy, foods are classified as red for hot, blue for cold and brown for neutral. A dog with seizures might be too hot or be eating too many red foods. Erlandson would recommend blue foods to cool, such as sardines and cheese.

"If we were traditional Chinese people, we'd be doing this," Erlandson said.

Glenn Neilsen, a veterinarian at Waite Park Veterinary Hospital, started performing alternative medicine in 1987. He brought in a chiropractor to perform acupuncture and chiropractic care, and Neilsen later learned a similar chiropractic technique called veterinary orthopedic manipulation. Neilsen also has used alternative cancer therapies to treat dogs and cats. The therapy involves nutrition and supplements to help balance the energy in pets, Neilsen said.

A pet's electrical balance can be in flux, causing illness. Neilsen prescribes nutritional changes to correct the imbalances and, in turn, the illnesses, he said.

"The foundation of all I do is I always talk nutrition," Neilsen said.
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Information from: St. Cloud Times

[TexasStooge]

Firefighters Find Secret Stash in Basement

WADSWORTH, Ohio (AP) - Firefighters dousing a fire in a new home were confused when the man they thought was the owner suddenly left — until they found $700,000 worth of marijuana plants in the basement, officials said.

"It seemed so strange to me" that the man left, said Wadsworth Fire Chief Ralph Copley. "If it were my home burning, I'd want to be there."

After firefighters extinguished the fire, which started in the attic early Friday morning, they found 239 marijuana plants filling one-fourth of the basement, which was wired throughout for indoor plant growing, authorities said.

"It was unreal," Copley said. "In 24 years, I've never seen a fire quite like that."

The Medina County Drug Task Force and firefighters on Friday confiscated items from the home, including peat moss, 1,000-watt bulbs and large reflecting discs. The basement had no fire damage.

The marijuana-cultivating system was wired to the home's electrical system in a way that bypassed the meter, said Michael Barnhardt, acting director of the task force. Such wiring would help a grower avoid the large electric bills that clue in investigators, he said.

Copley said the cause of the fire was unknown, but it did not appear to be related to the marijuana operation or electrical wiring. It caused about $150,000 in damage.

The home, bought for $229,000 less than one month ago, is owned by a Lan Le. There is no telephone listing under that name in the northeast Ohio city 30 miles south of Cleveland.
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Information from: Akron Beacon Journal

[TexasStooge]

Cat Arrives in U.S. on Fertilizer Truck

ELDRIDGE, N.D. (AP) - A stowaway who made it past Customs agents and into the United States on the metal frame of a fertilizer truck has won over locals, who call her the "sweetest illegal immigrant we've ever met."

The migrant — a cat — hopped aboard a semitrailer hauling fertilizer from Esterhazy, Saskatchewan, to Eldridge, near Jamestown.

Customs agents at the border alerted the driver, but no one could catch the feline. When the semi arrived in Eldridge, the furry stowaway was still clinging to the frame.

The trip Wednesday took about eight hours.

"She had nothing to grip with her claws because it's metal," said Mainline bookkeeper Jessica Hansen, who rescued the cat. "I don't know how she kept from falling out."

Hansen said she and her fellow employees — who named the cat Canada — considered keeping the animal as a mascot, but decided it was too risky with all the trucks around. The James River Humane Society in Jamestown is trying to find it a home.

"I don't want to see her deported now that they've tightened the immigration laws," Society spokeswoman Deb Archambeau joked. "She's sweet and friendly and deserves a good home. She's the sweetest illegal immigrant we've ever met."

[TexasStooge]

Skip Jury Duty, and Go Straight to Jail

PONTIAC, Mich. (AP) - A 24-year-old college student was ordered to spend the weekend in jail after skipping out on jury duty.

Ilya Kluzner, a student at the University of Michigan-Dearborn, must also write a five-page essay on the historical perspective of the American dream and why jury duty is crucial, under the sentence imposed by Oakland County Circuit Judge Fred Mester.

Mester found Kluzner in criminal contempt Thursday after he missed the second day of a two-day drug possession trial.

"He just felt like he was skipping class," Assistant Oakland County Prosecutor Jeffrey Kaelin said.

The student initially faced up to 30 days in jail. His lawyer asked for leniency and his mother apologized for her son's behavior.

[TexasStooge]

Fake Bill Leads to Arrests in Uzbekistan

TASHKENT, Uzbekistan (AP) - Police in Uzbekistan arrested a group of suspected swindlers who tried to sell what they said was $1 million U.S. bill — offering it at half price, the ITAR-Tass news agency reported Friday.

The suspects told a potential buyer they were prepared to sell the banknote for $500,000 in U.S. currency because they needed quick cash, the agency reported, citing prosecutors in the Uzbek city of Samarkand.

The fake bill was made on a color printer, the report said.

The United States does not print $1 million bills.

[TexasStooge]

"Stuff Happens" play sears Rumsfeld

By Claudia Parsons

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A play that skewers U.S. Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld as arrogant and war-mad has opened to a largely favourable welcome in New York this week, even as former generals turn against him in Washington.

In "Stuff Happens," by playwright David Hare, Rumsfeld is described as a "velociraptor" and at one point his character says "I could eat a baby through the bars of a crib."

The growing number of retired U.S. generals who have called for his ouster has not gone that far describing Rumsfeld, but the arrogance and failure to heed military advisers that they accuse him of are given dramatic life in Hare's play.

The play casts Rumsfeld and U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney as driving U.S. President George W. Bush in a rush to war in Iraq, and portrays former Secretary of State Colin Powell as clashing with the others over the need for war.

"The play superbly captures the decision making, manipulations and miscalculations that have by now been thoroughly documented," the New York Post said in its review of the play. "'Stuff Happens' is a riveting piece of theatre that well justifies the playwright's description of it as a 'history play,'" in the Shakespearean tradition.

First produced in London in 2004, "Stuff Happens" takes its title from Rumsfeld's quip dismissing the looting after U.S. troops entered Baghdad. Drawing on recorded quotes from Bush and his closest aides, the play recreates the build-up to the March 2003 invasion of Iraq, including many closed-door scenes that Hare imagined entirely.

In contrast to Post and the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal panned "Stuff Happens." As a documentary, it said, the play was "a flop, full of coarse caricatures and stiff with smugness," that stroked the preconceptions of an audience that "sniggered from start to finish."

The play has been updated since its first production, to focus more on Powell and his clashes with Rumsfeld and Cheney, who between them lay out the arguments promoted by neoconservatives who pressed for the Iraq invasion.

Bush comes over as an opaque figure but one who is the ultimate decision-maker, while Prime Minister Tony Blair is portrayed as an idealist.

The New York Times in its review said an alternative title for the play could be "The Tragedy of Colin Powell."

"He is Brutus in 'Julius Caesar,' an honourable man forced to run a race he no longer believes in," the paper said.

It is for pushing the war and ignoring the advice of his top generals that the 73-year-old Rumsfeld has come under fire in recent weeks from a small but influential group of retired generals who have called openly for his resignation.

Bush has stuck by Rumsfeld even as criticism over the war has helped drive the president's approval ratings to new lows. Bush issued a statement on Friday expressing his full support for the defence secretary.