Myspace.com appropriate for a 14-year old?

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coriolis
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Myspace.com appropriate for a 14-year old?

#1 Postby coriolis » Thu Nov 24, 2005 9:49 pm

myspace.com

It appears to be a website thats used for Instant messaging. Members create a profile and can post pictures of themselves. I get a sense that it's used as a "meating" place. Many of the photos in people's profiles seem to have a very "come hither" look to them.

Is anyone here a member? Is it on the up-and-up? Does it have a dark side? Would you let your 14-year old in there?

He is on notice that I control the internet access, and I've blocked this site unless I'm here to keep an eye on him.

Kids!
Last edited by coriolis on Thu Nov 24, 2005 11:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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#2 Postby Skywatch_NC » Thu Nov 24, 2005 10:12 pm

Brent posted a topic about a similar site back on November 9th.

http://www.storm2k.org/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=78319
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#3 Postby brunota2003 » Thu Nov 24, 2005 10:12 pm

hey, im on myspace.com, but i dont "look" for anyone, i use it to mainly keep in touch with my friends, but I do agree, it does look to have a small "dark" side, but no porno or anything is allowed, if there is any, you are suppose to notify the hosts like, yesterday, if you catch my drift... :wink:
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#4 Postby Brent » Thu Nov 24, 2005 10:28 pm

There's quite a few people on there that I know from other places on the internet... I've never gotten the impression that it was anything bad, but then again, I also didn't know that pictures and really personal info was posted, which I do have a problem with.
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#5 Postby Aslkahuna » Thu Nov 24, 2005 10:28 pm

Such sites are often used by sexual predators to find under aged girls and boys to have sex with. The local news station recently ran an Internet sting posing as a 13 year old girls. They got 160 hits from men who were interested in sex and 8 showed up at the house thinking that they were going to have a 13 year old girl. The video of the men has been turned over to Police and 2 are already in jail on charges and a third was ID'd as a fugitve sex offender. The other 5 are being further investigated.

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#6 Postby brunota2003 » Thu Nov 24, 2005 10:31 pm

hey guys, if your a member, then heres my page: http://www.myspace.com/brunota2003
WARNING, theres a hurricane background and video, so if you have dial-up, dont go there... :wink: the only thing besides info on there that i have a problem with is some of the ads...
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#7 Postby brunota2003 » Thu Nov 24, 2005 10:36 pm

oh, since i am 15 years old, under their age of "16" you have to become my friend i believe...cant remember though...
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#8 Postby TimJing » Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:12 am

coriolis wrote:myspace.com

It appears to be a website thats used for Instant messaging. Members create a profile and can post pictures of themselves. I get a sense that it's used as a "meating" place. Many of the photos in people's profiles seem to have a very "come hither" look to them.

Is anyone here a member? Is it on the up-and-up? Does it have a dark side? Would you let your 14-year old in there?

He is on notice that I control the internet access, and I've blocked this site unless I'm here to keep an eye on him.

Kids!


Basically, the only purpose of myspace is to meet new people in your area. I personally don't see anything wrong with a 14-year old using the website. 14-year olds generally display well enough judgement to not misuse such a website. I could see making it off-limits to a 9-year old, but a teenager?

http://www.myspace.com/notastapler
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#9 Postby Aslkahuna » Fri Nov 25, 2005 2:31 am

Actuality proves otherwise. Those who prey on young girls and boys (and that includes 14 year olds) know all of the tricks.

Steve
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#10 Postby streetsoldier » Fri Nov 25, 2005 2:39 am

"14-year olds generally display well enough judgement to not misuse such a website..."

Does Kara Borden count? Point made. :larrow:
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#11 Postby R-Dub » Fri Nov 25, 2005 2:30 pm

Just made my profile on my space a few weeks ago, I use it to keep in touch with friends. here is my profile...http://www.myspace.com/33478465

I haven't really noticed a dark side to the site, but supervision would probably be a good thing with a 14yr old.
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chadtm80

#12 Postby chadtm80 » Fri Nov 25, 2005 3:59 pm

I am also on myspace.com Old friends from highschool got me to join and now I am finding all kinds of friends I never thougth I would talk to again.. You can do a search for those that graduated with you etc.. And it is free
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#13 Postby texasweatherwatcher » Fri Nov 25, 2005 5:08 pm

I don't use MySpace; I use Xanga.
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#14 Postby streetsoldier » Fri Nov 25, 2005 8:09 pm

texasweatherwatcher wrote:I don't use MySpace; I use Xanga.


That goes TRIPLE for Xanga...more "teenage" poseurs have been apprehended on Xanga than any other website. Besides, Xanga is notorious for inviting adware and/or spyware into your PC, and is a breeding ground for Trojans and viruses.

I KNOW...I'm the guy who's had to clean up this cybertoy from Coppertop's Xanga unintentional downloads.
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#15 Postby ohiostorm » Fri Nov 25, 2005 10:30 pm

I have myspace just for keeping in contact with other bands and friends. Its nice to look for new underground music bands and popular bands on there and hear some of their music. I think its a great community and it doesnt get abused as far as I've seen. I have about 250 some people on my bands site and about 60 some on my personal one. Here are my links....

http://www.myspace.com/tormented
http://www.myspace.com/trmntddrummer
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#16 Postby therock1811 » Sat Nov 26, 2005 4:27 pm

I'm over there too. It does have a dark side, but I've never experienced it. Here's my myspace site:
http://www.myspace.com/jmos20
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#17 Postby Persepone » Sat Nov 26, 2005 6:19 pm

I've been to Xanga at the request of a friend whose neice was posting there. Had to create a profile, etc. to get where I needed to go and had no trouble doing so. Now I did not have malicious intent--just no interest other than reading (and giving my friend an opinion of what her neice was posting)--but if I had, I think it might have been all too easy...

Others have spoken of the risk of posting "too much" identifying information about yourself on a website and the risk of predators, etc. I'm not sure that teenagers (and some adults I know) realize that if you post your first name, your town, your school and your photo on line, you can be "found" pretty easily if someone wants to find you. And there is the problem that we tend to "trust" people who know our names and some facts about us. This is why I never let my daughter own any "personalized" items--you buy your 5-year-old a t-shirt that says "Jane" on it or a suitcase that says, "Jane" etc. and it's a good bet that the child's name is Jane--and she is likely to trust someone who knows her name... So you turn your back to talk to the airline desk personnel and someone is talking to your kid and already knows her name, etc.... Same problem with internet stuff.

I'm sure that a whole bunch of you know who the other Storm2K members are in your area... And you probably want to--but what if someone showed up at your door?

The risk, however, that bothers me a lot more is the risk of "trolls." Or perhaps that's not quite the right word for it... but I'm thinking of the people who want to cause emotional pain to others...

If at 25 or 30 or 50 or 60 we can still be hurt when people respond to posts with venom, can you imagine how much potential harm there is when a teenager, perhaps an emotionally fragile teenager, posts their thoughts or feelings, etc. on a board and gets nailed by some vicious replies?

At 60+ I can crack jokes about not wanting to buy an answering machine when they first came out for fear that I'd know definitively that no one ever called me when I was out. But that was at least partially true. And the reality is that I still don't get the messages I'd like. My friends don't call often. Usually it's people selling aluminum siding, replacement windows, soliciting contributions for something or other, bill collectors or politicians. I still don't know why I bothered to actually get an answering machine &/or hook it up!

But for a teenager it would be devastating--yet I think from what I saw on Xanga (granted I was looking at a small part of it), there is all sorts of potential for getting confirmation of your worst fears about yourself... I know at my age that if I post some viewpoint that I have an emotional stake in that I'm "taking a chance." I may well get flamed for my stand, or I may get told I'm an idiot (in less polite terms), or that I should "grow up" or "smell the coffee" or whatever. But when you are 13 or 14 or 15 those replies would be more devastating and I would have been a lot less able to shrug them off.

The bottom line is that there is a lot of stuff out there that is not so nice and it is not necessarily limited to the eventuality of the adult sexual predator showing up at the high school looking for "Brittany" or "Cindy" or "Brad" or "Joey."

I think there is more danger from the person who replies to the post with stuff like, "well, why don't you kill yourself--you're using too much air on this planet as it is and you'd be doing the world a favor..." or one who refers you to one of those websites that tells you how to "cut" yourself or how to become a good anorexic, etc.

There is another danger and that is that your acquaintances--not your friends, but those you know, but who are "not friends" see your posts, alert others to them, and chant excerpts in the hallways when you pass by, etc. at school. The internet is not a good place to bare your soul. It is not a good place to maintain a "journal" or to post your creative writing, etc. when you are a teen or young adult. (I'm not sure it's all that good as an older adult unless you are truly writing fiction and are on some site like the Harlequin Romance writer's website or something--but at least adults presumably know what they are getting into if/when they post or blog like that.)

Last, I would agree that going to such sites dramatically increases your spam, and probably exposes you to all sorts of spyware, adware and various malicious types of computer problems... An excellent firewall would seem the first prerequisite--but even conscientious use of anti-virus, firewall and spyware blocking won't protect you 100%--but only perhaps 80%. Remember that the people who write the malicious stuff often target the McAffee and Norton programs, for example!

Would I allow my daughter/son to go to these sites? Probably--but only under supervision--and I mean with me standing there reading or sitting close by and reading... And we'd have discussions about what we were seeing and reading--all of it, the photos, the ads, the postings, etc. I can see where an "on-line community" would have an important place in a teen's life--but I'd also want to monitor it in much the same way that I'd monitor whereabouts in the "physical" community. When my daughter was a teen, I did know where she was and who she was with. Yeah, perhaps she did feel oversupervised--on the other hand, perhaps she didn't because voluntarily she and her friends tended to be hanging out at our house or they'd end up here, etc.

In an ideal world, the "online community" the teenageers are in is similar to Storm2K--but I'd monitor to make sure that it was... And, over time, perhaps I'd encourage my teen to look for online communities (like this) based on interests, etc. rather than generally just being a teenager...
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#18 Postby streetsoldier » Sat Nov 26, 2005 11:14 pm

Another good point, Persepone!

Coppertop has fallen victim to posters like those you mentioned...and more. Those forums are unmoderated, "free speech" run amok.

When I said "and more", my son feels a need to intervene and help others...thus, he's been drawn into the mind games of troubled teens, who have deep-seated problems, yet don't REALLY want "help"...just using the sites to vent, w/o going the next step (counseling, possibly social/police intervention, etc.). Coppertop is well-meaning, and cares, but he isn't trained to deal with some of the kids he's been talking with (or "to").

Thankfully, he understands that now, but it wasn't all that long past that he'd spend hours online, being dragged by the nose hither and yon...and exhibiting frustration, crying, etc. because he was caught in a web woven by such tormented souls.

And, of course, the anonymity afforded by the web brings them in like bugs to a light.

Good point, Persepone.
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#19 Postby JQ Public » Mon Nov 28, 2005 2:52 am

I personally think myspace is more of a place for college-aged students. She should try Xanga. Thats geared more towards younger folk. I'm a member of facebook and its pretty similar to xuqa and myspace...and those are predominately visited by college students. Basically you create a profile and your friends and even long lost aquaintances from high school can add you as their friend. Its a good way to keep in touch with people from your past. I know of many of my girl friends that have been propositioned b/c of their profiles. If anything tell them not to put any extremely personal info on there...like phone numbers, addresses, or pictures that you don't want plastered throughout the internet. It is pretty harmless, but I still think its best suited for college folk.
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#20 Postby TimJing » Tue Nov 29, 2005 10:27 pm

streetsoldier wrote:"14-year olds generally display well enough judgement to not misuse such a website..."

Does Kara Borden count? Point made. :larrow:


Some teenagers are more mature than others.

Point made =/

Oh, and in case anybody here didn't know, it's against the site's terms of service for people younger than 16 to use myspace.
Last edited by TimJing on Tue Nov 29, 2005 10:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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