Mom Won't Leave

[JenBayles]

I knew it. My mother is the Master of Denial, and after faithfully promising she would leave our West Houston area if Rita reached Cat 4 status, she backed out yesterday evening. Why? Because my idiot <insert several expletives of your choice here> brother convinced her nothing will happen and that my sister and I are just "hysterical". Then she hears Dr. Frank saying, truthfully, that we don't know exactly where Rita will go and comes to the conclusion that his statments translate as, "You don't have to leave so don't worry about it."


So, while Dave and I will be leaving town soon, I have no idea how we're going to pry Mom and her cat out of her house. This is a woman who absolutely FREAKS if the electricity even blips - no way will she be able to handle even a day without it. Can someone please explain old people to me? Please?!

[skysummit]

Has she not heard of the devistation Katrina caused only a few weeks ago...WELL INLAND. Plus, if Rita goes to your south, you're going to be bombarded with Tornado Warnings. Just yesterday in south Florida there must've been 15 warnings in a few hours time.

[LAwxrgal]

Sounds like my mom.

Beg. Cajole. And then beg and cajole some more.

Seriously, get her a magic marker and write your information on her arm.

[aOl]

She will want to leave by tommorow, trust me.

[Raider Power]

Get online, find pictures of devastation inland in Mississippi, Alabama, etc. She may be the kind of person who needs to see the potential destruction rather than hear of it.

[skysummit]

Here...use my pics if you'd like!

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/knightscappe/my_photos

[Pellice]

There's no downside to leaving if the hurricane doesn't hit - there might be a one night's room charge, and it sounds as though she could go with you, so that isn't even a problem. There's a large downsize to not leaving if the hurricane does hit.

Tell her that if nothing happens, she can laugh at you all. But you are thinking of her (and her cat) because pet owners have to be doubly responsible in view of the inconsistent policies towards pets.

Tell her, yes, you may be hysterical, and could she accept that? Could she let you be hysterical, once or twice, and come with you just to appease you. That you will at least have some time together and a couple of meals out. Maybe you'll find a nice museum to visit, or go to a movie the day you're away.

Tell her that if it doesn't pan out, to think of it as a drill.

And remember, tell her she can have the last laugh if it doesn't pan out!

[karenfromheaven]

All of the above, plus set a time and tell her you will be there at such and such a time to pick her up and help with her things. Then go and be there at that time. Perhaps seeing you and your family packed up and leaving will help her choose to go. Make your last stand with her there, and do everything to convince her. But in the end, do not, do not, let her denial change your mind and put you in harm's way by staying. Stay true to your responsibility to you and your family to be safe. Take peace in the knowledge you have done everything possible to keep her safe. Then let her go. It sounds like brother is going to stay as well. Get on his case after you're safe and tell him that you expect him to watch over Mom. Arrange with him one or more ways to stay in touch, and include another person in that network, preferably outside of the impact zone.

I've found that my way of coping with the stress of these storms and having the cone of terror come over my house, is to dig into the details and get very informed about what's happening. That's why I value this board! If that's true for you, then stay glued to the media or get online, etc.

[jasons2k]

This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of when I saw the utter lack urgency in Dr. Frank's broadcast last night.

So, if you thought it was a good broadcast (there is another thread on it) here is my case & point right here. Multiply it by a few hundred thousand.

[alicia-w]

Ask her for a copy of her will and important documents. Better yet, pick her up, put the cat in a crate, and stick her in the car. Better to be safe than sorry.

[inotherwords]

My mom did not want to evacuate for Charley. I just started packing her stuff and loading it in the car, loaded up her cat, and then I said, OK, you get in or I'm picking you up and putting you in. She ended up going but she crabbed at me the whole way. Until she saw what happened to Port Charlotte, and then she understood.

The one thing that finally got through to her was the lack of electricity idea. She depends on a breathing device a couple times a day and I finally got it through her head that she might be without that for weeks because of power outages.

Maybe that argument could work for you.

[Miss Mary]

Oh Jen! What a dire situation.....I have a stubborn disabled brother-in-law, very-very set in his own home. With his surrounding 'stuff' - recliner, files/paper (part-time attorney), computer, etc. It would be so hard to move him. Not that your mother is in this situation but when people get quite comfortable and set in their ways, it is so hard to reason with them.

Keep trying is all I can say. Hog-tie her if you have to. I know you won't forget the cat.

Mary

[dhweather]

Jen, tell your Mom you have friends in Mississippi, and they got out.
They are alive today because they did. It took 2+ weeks to get electricity
back, water is still not "safe" in many areas. Debris is everywhere.
High risks of Hepatitis, Dysentary, Tetanus, etc.

See the threads of pictures I put out- "top 10 reasons to evacuate"

Good luck abd God Bless.

[seaswing]

Ask her for a copy of her will and important documents. Better yet, pick her up, put the cat in a crate, and stick her in the car. Better to be safe than sorry.

Tell her that you need her to sign a power of attorney so that you can take possession of what is left of her stuff and divide it among your family. Also let her know that when the National Guard comes to her house to have her sign the waiver that the gov't is not responsible for her death that she can put you down as the contact person to come and identify her body (if they find it)

[alicia-w]

or have her write her name in magic marker on her arm, so they know who she is when they find her.

[artist]

if she doesn't have a computer then print them out and take them to her - also print the stories form some here that stayed and what they went trough when there homes were filled with water or broke up completely . good luck Jen - stay safe.

Our prayers are with you and everyone in these areas.

[Houstonia]

My 70+ age parents decided not to leave either, after promising they would evacuate for anything over a Cat 3 storm. They decided that there wouldn't be any place for them to go - even though my sister in Katy has a house where she wants them to come to.

My parents live in southwest Houston - not a flood-prone area, but once the flooding does start, they will be basically "trapped" in the neighborhood.

I decided for my own sanity's sake to go down there and ride it out with them. Our biggest fears are the roof of the house and the huge HUGE tree in the front yard. None of the neighbors are leaving either.

It will be bad - and it will be scary bad, but I'd rather be with my parents than riding it out across town, unable to contact them and worrying about them. Since I'm by myself - it's easier to make that decision. I'm not sure what I would do if I had a family of my own to worry about.

[Cat5survivor]

Ask her for a copy of her will and important documents. Better yet, pick her up, put the cat in a crate, and stick her in the car. Better to be safe than sorry.

Tell her that you need her to sign a power of attorney so that you can take possession of what is left of her stuff and divide it among your family. Also let her know that when the National Guard comes to her house to have her sign the waiver that the gov't is not responsible for her death that she can put you down as the contact person to come and identify her body (if they find it)

[GulfHills]

Here...use my pics if you'd like!

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/knightscappe/my_photos

Awesome pictures....if this doesn't convince her, I don't know what will.

[JenBayles]

I'm really surprised at Mom's attitude because all through Katrina she kept mumbling about "why didn't those dumazzes leave?" Now who's the dumbazz, eh? I'm heading over there now to take all her orchids in and hurricane proof the house as best I can. I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck!