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Rejected Hallmark Cards

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 10:17 am
by bfez1
Cards rejected by Hallmark

1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side, it's really good pay.

2. My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

3. Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder?
What in the world was I thinking?

4. Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

5. How could two people as beautiful as you...
Have such an ugly baby?

6. I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
After having met you ... I've changed my mind.

7. I must admit, you brought Religion into my life... never
believed in Hell till I met you.

8. As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

9. Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go ...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

10 Someday I hope to get married.
But not to you.

11. Happy birthday! You look great for your age...
Almost Lifelike!

12. When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your
promise.

3. We have been friends for a very long time... what say we
stop?

14. I'm so miserable without you ..
it's almost like you're here.

15. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

16. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
birhday. So we're having you put to sleep.

17. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Mississippi,Kentucky and West Virginia)

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 12:20 pm
by coriolis
You know....
We have Hallmark "Create a card" on this computer.......
The wheels are turning.........

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 12:25 pm
by Guest
Be Nice Ed....

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 12:45 pm
by mf_dolphin
I"m with Ed! Want to start a side business? I bet we could make a fortune in the "just dicorced" category alone! ;-)

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 1:04 pm
by wx247
LOL... This was e-mailed to me not too long ago and I laughed for a long time. Thanks for posting them. They always bring a smile to my face. :)

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 1:25 pm
by David
Nice jokes.. ;)

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 1:36 pm
by TexasStooge
LOL

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 2:28 pm
by ColdFront77
There would be a problem if these greeting cards were really rejected by Hallmark. I am not a card person anyway. :)

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 3:06 pm
by Stephanie
LOL!

I CAN'T WAIT to see what Ed comes up with!!! :lol:

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 4:30 pm
by weatherlover427
Uh oh, Ed is probably making them right now... :o :lol: . That is a good thing btw.

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 5:41 pm
by Stormsfury
*ROTFLMAO* ...
Especially @ nos. 1, 3, 6, 7, 10, and 15.

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 5:59 pm
by JCT777
Very funny!! :cheesy: Now I am trying to think of people to send those cards too! :wink: :D

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 6:00 pm
by Pro-Storm
I liked #12 myself.....theres a few I would send that one to.

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 10:25 pm
by martinfan6
17. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Mississippi,Kentucky and West Virginia)


You left Alabama off the list on this one! J/K :D

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 10:31 pm
by pojo
Even though I have seen these on emails...I still laugh!

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 10:35 pm
by MScoast
17. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Mississippi,Kentucky and West Virginia)


Ugh!!!! another Mississippi Joke :D BTW, I was born in Kansas :lol:

Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2003 10:44 pm
by azskyman
If Hallmark rejected those, I hope some other card company is using them. They would definitely do some business!