STORM2K

You know you're from Cincinnati when:

Your idea of a three-way is chilli over spaghetti topped with cheddar (Good stuff)

You know what goetta is - and you've eaten it (know it, haven't tried it)

You hate Cleveland, but you don't know why, and you've never been there (Can you say Cleveland Browns?)

You think Pete Rose and Marge Schott were railroaded(Schott, yes. Rose, not at the time.)

You say "Please?" instead of "Excuse me?" (YES!)

You think Northern Kentucky is part of Ohio(It's not!)

You've been to California, Wyoming, Coney Island, and Over-the-Rhine in one day (I've done this.)

There are less than 100 murders a year, and you still think you're in Detroit (Sometimes I do.)

You think Dayton is a Third World country (See my comment about N KY being part of Ohio above)

What groundhog? It's the St. Patrick's Day parade leprechaun that forecasts how much longer winter will last. (LOL! We still watch the groundhog though.)

Losing football teams draw more fans than winning baseball teams. (Surprisingly, yes.)

Indiana is about 20 miles away, but it takes about four hours to get there.(Sometimes it does.)

It's too cold in the winter, and too hot and humid in the summer, to ever stay outside for very long.(Yep, especially when it's 95 degrees with 40% humidity)

You drive to Columbus or Louisville to avoid the prices at the Cincinnati airport.(My parents actually have done that. Only it was Lexington.)

City council members hold debates on whether or not they should debate in the first place.(Sometimes, yes.)

Tourists still flock downtown to catch a glimpse of cast members from "WKRP," even though the show hasn't aired on network television since 1984, and the show was filmed in LA anyway.(I've never seen that done.)

You ask lifetime residents where the President Taft house is, but they don't know either.(LOL! I haven't ever seen that happen.)

If you do something -- anything -- in public long enough, sooner or later it will be banned. (To my surprise, yes.)

Your low-fat diet is never low enough to exclude Graeter's ice cream.(LOL! So true.)

You get through winter listening to Marty and Joe's broadcasts from the grapefruit leagues. (Yep, sure do.)

Big Red Smokies are a ballpark treat, not cause to dial 9-1-1. (Never had them, so I can't say for sure.)

If necessary, the city could easily be sliced into two new cities: East and West, and it would take 20 years for anyone to notice something happened. (Just like everything else does, we're so behind the times.)

Chocolate and cinnamon, not peppers and beans, are in your chili.(Didn't know there was chocolate in it.)

You can drive 30 minutes in any direction to hear a different accent than your own.(Sure can!)

You can accurately judge people's social status by which Kroger's store they frequent.(Yep.)

You can go to any church festival in any neighborhood on any weekend and see at least five people you either work with, went to school with, or dated.(Never fails.)

Even the slightest mention of former baseball commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti makes your blood boil and your ears steam. (See my comment about Mike Brown below.)

If the temperature hits 45 degrees, and the sun comes out in any month between November and April, people walk around downtown wearing shades and no jackets. (Been there, done that. NOT a good idea.)

The top stories on the local 6 o'clock evening news look suspiciously like the articles you read in the newspaper that very morning -- and even use the same quotes. (Only on Channel 9.)

Any carbonated beverage is a "coke." (Yeah, sorta.)

Your favorite convenient store sounds like a labor union. (Yeah, I guess so.)

You can't hear the words "Mike Brown" without getting angry. (Don't get me started.)

You honestly believe that Pete Rose should be in the Baseball Hall Fame. (Now that he admitted to what he did, yes he should.)

You have more stadiums, coliseums, and arenas than you know what to do with. (Oh heck yes!)

It doesn't seem weird to you that everyone has an Uncle Al. (Sort of.)

Your favorite Coney Island isn't in New York. (Never been to the one in NY, so I can't say I agree.)

You like Nick Clooney better than George Clooney. (Yeah, somewhat.)

You know how Jerry Springer got his start. (He was a mayor, then a news anchor.)

You know what a pony keg is. (Yep.)

You have friends and neighbors with names like Machenheimer, Guckenberger, Schlottman, Schoenling, and Schweitering. (I know a Schlotman.)

You know that cars (like eggs) are cheaper in the country. (Yeah.)

An all-boys or all-girls school doesn't seem that odd to you (Nope, have a couple here in Kentucky)

You think a mixed marriage is when an East Sider marries a West Sider. (Well, yes.)

You know the difference between Hudy and "Who Dey."(I don't know what Hudy is, but I know "Who Dey?" refers to the Bengals.)

You know what cream ale is, and you think that cream soda should be bright red. (Yeah and nope.)

You think Kentucky is only slightly more civilized than Afghanistan. (HEY!!! I live here now!)

You know in which state the Greater Cincinnati Airport is located. (Yep...KENTUCKY!)

You actually understand the word, "CRAVE" and white castle burgers.(Yep.)

You can almost name the seven "hills" minus one or two.(Don't ask, it's still early for me!)

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Cincinnati.

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