You know you're living on the Gulf Coast when:

[alicia-w]

You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.

You have more than 20 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.
Your pantry contains more than 10 cans of Spaghetti Os or Raviolo.

You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows (or vice versa)

When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe place.

You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.

You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of unleaded.

The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.

You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.

You own more than three large coolers.

You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.

Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.

You catch a 5-pound catfish. In your driveway.

You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.

At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.

You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.

There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.

You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.

Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.

Ice is a valid topic of conversation.

Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.

You use the phrase "hunkered down" way too many times in casual conversation.

You've pondered the meaning of the word "mandatory."

You own more than one five-gallon gas can.

You have plywood in storage which will you won't touch for home improvement projects.

You have five phones in your house, but one of them will always be a "hardline" phone that doesn't need electricity.

You've cooked dinners consisting of "anything and everything perishable."

You're seriously thinking of leaving your house boarded up from June 1st to November 30th.

Your neighbors don't think this is the least bit odd.

You've bought large quantities of bleach, without really knowing why.

You know what a northeast quadrant is.

Your local news media regularly refer to their "storm alert partners."

Your local news media spend more than 1 hour (sometimes more than 24 hours) discussing the same weather event.

The sound of your air conditioner running gives you a "warm fuzzy feeling."

You regularly store more bottled water than you could drink in a week.

Your BBQ grill has more than just recreational uses.

You've started painting little hurricane shapes on your plywood like the bombs painted on WWII bombers.

You know the latitude and longitude for your house.

You know how high above sea level your house is and where you are situated with regards to the 100 year flood plain.

Something in your yard is tied down with airplane cable.

You know what both the Saffir-Simpson Scale and the Fujita-Pearson Scale are.

You plant trees based on wind resistance.

You plant trees, all the while thinking of how tall they will get and what they will hit if they fall. Still, you plant them anyway.

Candles and oil lamps have lost all their romantic associations.

You know how long your bathtub will hold water.

You've used your washing machine to store water in, and considered this quite clever.

You know there's no Category 6.

You know WHY there's no Category 6.

You are concerned about the weather in the Cape Verde Islands.

FEMA has had a "temporary" office set up in your community for more than 6 months.

It no longer surprises you to find out that your county has been declared a disaster area.

Friends and family call "just to make sure you're still there."

You know that one end of Cuba has more mountains than the other.

You think 5-day forecasts are infinitely better than 3-day forecasts.

Your internet browser's home page is set for any weather outlet i.e. Intellicast.com, Weather Underground, NOAA.gov.

You've been through a storm whose name has been "retired" by the National Hurricane Center.

You're annoyed by the "media frenzy" over a storm, but you watch them anyway.

You know which members of your family are considered "essential personnel."

There's a map of the Gulf of Mexico and the Caribbean on your refrigerator.

You've driven north in the southbound lane of an interstate and weren't worried about getting arrested or running into oncoming traffic.
 

[TexasStooge]