STORM2K

"Regrets, I've had a few and now I'll face the final curtain!"

We've all had regrets in our lives, I know I HAVE? What's your biggest regret?

Mine WOULD have been not going to college BUT.....I've FIXED that and I'm now only ONE semester away from GRADUATING with a A.A.S. in Criminal Investigations.

Dennis

Not enjoying life to the fullest! However, I am only 23, and I have strived in recent years to start "opening up".

Dennis - just one you ask? LOL I have only about 7 or 8!

Like you I regret not going to college too. Prior to becoming a mom, my #1 regret was ever having one date with my ex. Wish I could wipe him out of my past but I can't....but since having had children, my #1 regret in life is still eating peanut butter every single day during my first pregnancy. Nina was born with a severe peanut allergy, that is for life. Which can be fatal. But she takes the necessary precautions and avoids it. There is direct correlation now that nearly 100% proves you shouldn't eat it while pregnant. Wish I knew that back then. I ate it every day, for over 9 months. And every day for 6 weeks while nursing her.

Bet you didn't expect that answer! But you asked....

Mary

Only two, really just TWO...and both are still possible to remedy with effort and $$$.

Not getting my Masters in Science Education when I was 1 class short. Since my Bachelor's degree, I have accumulated some 44 credit hours...almost the equivalent of two MS degrees. Now...I am contemplating (but not very hard) starting virtually over for an M.B.A.. Won't earn me another nickel...but would be a personal victory.

Not getting my pilot's license. I can't afford to fly even if I had it, but I sure would like to have the private license.

Far and wide, I have looked. Those are the only two regrets.

My life has been based on the fear of regret. I never ever EVER want to get to the end of it...whenever that might be...and regret NOT doing something. Much better MUCH MUCH better to regret something that you did and didn't do all that well.

Maybe I'll just buy all the beefed up versions of computer flight simulation software, register it under my name with an MS Ed after it, and just sit here at the computer and put an end to both those regrets without getting out of the chair!

"The ones who got away"...let's see, now...Shari, Celie, Carol, Jeanne, Trudy, Beth, Patti, Mary Ellen, Susie, Sandy, Brenda (still counting)...

Not meeting and marrying my wife sooner. We just celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary June 1st, and I keep thinking it could have been our 25th. Just joking!

I have a wonderful wife, wonderful children, and wouldn't change any choice I have made in life. To change something might have put me in the wrong place at the wrong time, and I wouldn't have what I have now.

streetsoldier wrote:"The ones who got away"...let's see, now...Shari, Celie, Carol, Jeanne, Trudy, Beth, Patti, Mary Ellen, Susie, Sandy, Brenda (still counting)...

Ex-wives???

Joking.

My only regret is this: Not being able to tell my mother I love her. You were very supportive of me when she passed away.

Daylily...my mom died angry at me. She hadn't spoken to me for a couple of weeks and then had a stroke. While we had a few feeble words when she was in a very ill condiiton, the anger was never resolved.

Time has healed, but it hurts to know that the parting came at a difficult time when words were not easy.

Your mom knows. So does mine.

azskyman,
I understand how you feel. I had issues with my father that went unresolved when he passed away. I never got to tell him how he hurt me by doing things for my sister that he wouldn't do for me, like help her get her license and then I had to get mine on my own by learning to drive with my aunt's car, he wouldn't let me drive his car. I never got to tell him I resented him for that.

Brent wrote:

streetsoldier wrote:"The ones who got away"...let's see, now...Shari, Celie, Carol, Jeanne, Trudy, Beth, Patti, Mary Ellen, Susie, Sandy, Brenda (still counting)...

Ex-wives???

Joking.

No, ladies who would have been a better choice than I settled for.

streetsoldier wrote:

Brent wrote:

streetsoldier wrote:"The ones who got away"...let's see, now...Shari, Celie, Carol, Jeanne, Trudy, Beth, Patti, Mary Ellen, Susie, Sandy, Brenda (still counting)...

Ex-wives???

Joking.

No, ladies who would have been a better choice than I settled for.

ouch

Again, it's a darn good thing Debi isn't an S2K member!!!! LOL No more invites for Bill's household...yikes....Bill, I just realized Coppertop can read this thread.....do you want to edit it? Just kidding....sort of!

Steve/Daylilly - I'm so sorry for both of you. I wonder if that will be my situation someday. My mother is 80, soon to be 81 and a real handful. My brothers, their wives, 2 nieces, my husband and 2 children - none of us are close to her. She is very hard to get along with. I've been trying since I was 16 to get along with her and had a much closer relationship with my father, God rest his soul. Reading of things you wished you had said to your own mothers, makes me realize maybe I just need to be nicer. I can't really say what I want to, she'd become very upset with my real feelings but at least I can try to respect her more. Thank you for giving me a glimpse of what might become another regret for me. My one brother said he'll never have regrets once our mother is gone - he's said all he can, to make their relationship better. It is almost impossible to reason with my mother, but maybe I'll give it another try. Thank you both and I'm glad you can find it in your heart to forgive yourself Steve. You have your dad still and that is such a comfort still I'm sure. Daylilly - again, so sorry for your regret. We're still here for you, you know...if you ever need to talk about it.

Mary

Believe it or not, no regrets.

I've made choices that didn't turn out the way I planned, but I wouldn't be who I am without those experiences. I made the decisions based on the best info I had at the time. You cannot know what might have happened otherwise.

I had a dear friend who had been severly disabled in a tragic drunk driving accident. She told me once, "You can't play the 'If Only' game unless you play it both ways. I can say, 'If only I hadn't driven that night...., but I also have to say, "If I hadn't, the next night I could have hit a van load of kids.' "

She was a very wise woman.

We live, we learn.

I am 34 years old. I try and not have regrets. Regrets tug at you and drag you down (personal experience) so at some point in my life (early twenties, I think) I decided not to have regrets. My life is how it is. Today is now and tomorrow is in the making. If I don't like the now, I can wake up tomorrow and try something different.

Just my two cents from someone who has been there.

Aimless & Kelarie, I have the same answer as you: no regrets.

Sure, I've passed up opportunities and made uninformed/unwise choices over the past 55 years, but every experience, whether good or not-so-good, is part of my identity.

Every experience teaches me another lesson in life, and sometimes those lessons aren't very apparent the first -- or second or third or fourth, etc.-- time around. "Regrettable" choices on my part show me that I wasn't ready for what the alternative choice would have offered.

I have the ability to create my reality/life through the choices I make, even when those choices appear to be bleak or even nonexistent.

Ultimately life experiences happen for the greater good, even if that goodness may not be visibly manifest or immediately comprehensible.

... yikes, sorry to sound so philosophical/preachy. Some people may see my thoughts as naive, idiotic, or worse. That's OK. We're all on the same journey via individual paths!

"Again, it's a darn good thing Debi isn't an S2K member!!!! LOL No more invites for Bill's household...yikes....Bill, I just realized Coppertop can read this thread.....do you want to edit it?"

He already knows, Mary.

The only regret I have is that I haven't lived each day to the fullest. I find myself still being a little bit of a workaholic even though I vowed several years ago that I would not invest that much of my emotion and time into my job. Time is so very precious.

I think all of us have had loved ones with whom we wish we had spent more time and given more love. I never want that to happen again.

You never know when you're going to make a wonderful memory for yourself or a loved one.

I've done some really stupid things in my life. In some cases I ended up facing the consequences that made me smarter and wiser. In some cases I avoided facing the consequences, and all I have is a nagging discontent about them to this day. I wonder about the people that were affected. So either I regret doing the thing, or I regret avoiding the consequences.

As far as opportunities siezed, or opportunities lost, I have no real regrets. Life is a journey and you make the best decision you can. Once you make a choice there's no turning back. If you second guess all your decisions, pretty soon you become unable to make any decisions. It's inevitable that some decisions will be good ones and some will be bad ones. You enjoy the good decisions, and you learn from the bad ones.

As far as love, I'm the opposite of Streetsoldier. Rather than regretting the ones that I let go of, I have more regrets over some of the ones I took up with. I snared myself in one fatal attraction relationship that felt like a film. But how do I know that there wasn't some lesson, or opportunity in that whole mess for me to grow, and become a wiser person. I'm a big believer in getting something good out something bad.

The closest I have to a regret: wasting so much of my twenties trying to become somebody I liked being.

Then again, the journey was worth it!