STORM2K

What my mother taught me......

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. - "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. - 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. - "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM . - "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. - "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. - "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. - "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . - "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. - There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. - " Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. - "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. - "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. - "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. - "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. - "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. - " Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. - "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite : my mother taught me about JUSTICE. - "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Mothers! Aren't they great?! The scariest point in my life to date was when I opened my mouth to yell at my kids and heard my father's voice and words come out! :o All those things I promised I'd never say to my kids just came out from somewhere I'll never understand

hahah i've seen this somewhere, but it makes me laugh everytime. maybe because i can relate so well to it hahahah!

The only thing I recall about my mother was an admonition about "going blind"...

LOL Bill, does this mean you also have hairy palms? SORRY, you walked right into that one LOL!

I know Marshall, I catch myself saying the EXACT same thing to my son that my dad said to me and I "SWORE and be damned" that I would NEVER, EVER be like my dad!

Dennis

"yo-ho, Dennis..." Actually, I THINK it was eyeballing the TV...a Muntz with a 5" screen in a 3' x 4' box, from a distance of 12" or less.

LOL...that's so true!

The first time it happened it really shook me up! As time has passed I realized just how smart of a man he was! I'm glad I had a chance to tell him so before he passed!

Ya know Marshall, those words are SO true, I know we all ranted and raved about our fathers at one time or another but as you said, EVERYTHING they told us carried a tremendous amount of wisdom. I can only hope to be half the man my father is.

Dennis

That sounds just like my Mama! LoL! I do believe that I
probably heard every one of those!

LMAO me too!

I remember my mom saying a few of those...actually most of them

Ha, I was starting to think your mom and mine were sisters. Heard everyone of them. And I groan inside everytime one of them slips out of my mouth to my kids.

It is quite funny! I promised I would never repeat some of those (which I heard frequently from my mom) Well I broke that promise to myself.

Another favorite of my mom's was if you lie your nose will grow. Just the thought of looking like pinochio would make me run into my room crying buckets.