STORM2K

*Cow-isms*

*Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms.*

Socialism: you have two cows. You keep one and give one to your
neighbor.

Communism: you have two cows. The government takes them both and
provides you with milk.

Feudalism - You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism - You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to
take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Totalitarianism - You have two cows. The government takes them both and
denies they ever existed and drafts you into the army. Milk is banned.

Bureaucracy: you have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots
one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the
drain.

Corporate: you have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce
the milk of four cows and then acts surprised when it drops dead.

Democratism: you have two cows. The government taxes you to the point
that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign
country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.

Capitalism: you have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Enron Venture Capitalism - You have two cows. You sell three of them to
your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly
owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows
back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns
eight cows, with an option on one more.


Dennis

LOL. Hey that actually rings true.
...Jennifer...

A Mexican old chap (F) is fishing on a jetty.
An American tourist (T) passing by asks him: "Are you having a good catch?"
F:"three or four, just those needed for me and my family for supper"
T:"three or four only? And what you do after supper?"
F:"Just enjoying life, dancing and singing with friends, drinking a beer and then make love with my spouse".
T:"Catch more fishes! You can then sell them to your friends".
F:"Why?"
T:"Because you make money, and then you can buy a large net and increase the catch".
F"Why?"
T:"So that you can make more money, buy a boat and have much more catch".
F:"Why?"
T:"because now you can make more money, buy a fleet and some trucks to deliver the catch in the country."
F:"Why?"
T:"you own a fleet, a truck company, you're a millionaire! Now you can buy boats and trucks abroad, make more money, have offices in New York, San Francisco and Miami."
F:"Why?"
T:" Because you are now a billionaire!"
F: "What am I supposed to do when I'm a billionaire?"
T: "Now you can fishing all day long, enjoy life with your friends dancing and singing, drinking a beer and make love with your spouse!".

That's why I have a Gerbil wheel in my office as a conversation piece.

You have a gerbil wheel? lol.. I love those things