STORM2K

Well.. Hopefully this can take me out of my depressed rut. But as of early tomorrow morning.. I'll be back upstairs!

Tonight I moved a lot of my stuff back up there and will finish it tomorrow. The only problem I have is that I'll be doing dishes out the ying yang because I think every dish in the apartment needs to be rewashed.

If you're wondering.. I'm also still down about Cassie's situation. I just feel so bad. Maybe tomorrow when I go to class, I'll stop by after class and see if there's a counselor to talk too.

I wanted to talk to my pastor tonight at my church {since I went to F.A.I.T.H.} but he was too busy talkin to somebody else.. I really need to pick myself up out of this rut. Please continue to let me know it wasn't my fault Cassie turned into a cutter.

I'm sorry I'm so down..

It was NOT your fault! Hang in there, John!

Thank you Brian.. I'm just devastated because all I can see are the recurring images of that nightmare.. or last semester when she made the cry for help and I ignored it..

On the bright side.. I am going back upstairs tomorrow.

Come on John You know it was not your fault...your to good of a person to let anything like that happen to your friend...Just stay safe and keep the lord in your heart

Thank you KC. My head knows it was not my fault.. My heart though is having trouble grasping that concept..

I know you wouldn't let something like that happen to a friend who you care so much about, John! You've been very nice and good to Cassie and I know God won't forget you for that.

Also I'm glad to hear about you returning home tomorrow. Glad all is well upstairs! (double meaning intended! )

Thank you Joshua.. I'm going to need all the help through Cassie's crisis.. I just hope you guys don't get sick of me lol..

Josephine96 wrote:Please continue to let me know it wasn't my fault Cassie turned into a cutter.

I'm sorry I'm so down..

John, no wonder you are down. You are placing yourself in a no-win situation. You are trying to take the responsibility for Cassie's past and her future mistakes.

That doesn't work. Instead of helping, it makes you feel bad and certainly doesn't do much for Cassie.

No listen to me carefully John, because this next part is going to be difficult. Cassie's problems in the past were not your fault. Yes, she confided in you that was a cutter, but she could have confided in a pastor, a teacher or an adult as well. You were dealing with a lot of "stuff" too when she told you, and that stuff was important. You were the best friend that anyone could be. So stop blaming yourself.

Going forward, you cannot-I repeat-cannot-keep Cassie from hurting herself again. You cannot take on the responsibility of her life. Cassie has lots of problems that have nothing to do with you. You've told us about her mom. Sounds like a problem there. Maybe she has other problems too......things that maybe you don't even know about. You can't fix them John.

The best thing you can do for Cassie is to show her in thought, word and deed that you care for her. Another thing you must do for yourself is live your own life. It will be good for you.....and for Cassie.

If Cassie feels the need to hurt herself again, she doesn't need the guilt of hurting you. Encourage her to seek out professional counseling. Someone who is uninvolved and professionally trained to help her. She needs your example. She needs your prayers. She needs your love.

Over the course of my life I've learned that there are some situations I can't change. No matter how hard I try. This might be one you can't change, John.

Only Cassie can make the decisions she needs to make. Love her. Give her space. Give yourself space. Give yourself some peace.

BocaGirl
Barbara

You mentioned F.A.I.T.H. I believe that that is based on the book by Bro. Bobby Welch? He is my pastor from Daytona, the church I still consider my "home" church and my mom is still heavily involved there...If this is the F.A.I.T.H. I am talking about , it is an excellent class and study! Seek love and help through your church...make an appointment with your pastor...you're in my prayers...

Thanks everybody for the continued prayers and kind words. I had a pretty good day today.

Pray for me tomorrow when I go see Ms. Casandra again..

I may write her another letter tonight or 1st thing tomorrow. She did tell me if I ever wanted to write to her I could..