Josephine96 wrote:Please continue to let me know it wasn't my fault Cassie turned into a cutter.
I'm sorry I'm so down..
John, no wonder you are down. You are placing yourself in a no-win situation. You are trying to take the responsibility for Cassie's past and her future mistakes.
That doesn't work. Instead of helping, it makes you feel bad and certainly doesn't do much for Cassie.
No listen to me carefully John, because this next part is going to be difficult. Cassie's problems in the past were not your fault. Yes, she confided in you that was a cutter, but she could have confided in a pastor, a teacher or an adult as well. You were dealing with a lot of "stuff" too when she told you, and that stuff was important. You were the best friend that anyone could be. So stop blaming yourself.
Going forward, you cannot-I repeat-cannot-keep Cassie from hurting herself again. You cannot take on the responsibility of her life. Cassie has lots of problems that have nothing to do with you. You've told us about her mom. Sounds like a problem there. Maybe she has other problems too......things that maybe you don't even know about. You can't fix them John.
The best thing you can do for Cassie is to show her in thought, word and deed that you care for her. Another thing you must do for yourself is live your own life. It will be good for you.....and for Cassie.
If Cassie feels the need to hurt herself again, she doesn't need the guilt of hurting you. Encourage her to seek out professional counseling. Someone who is uninvolved and professionally trained to help her. She needs your example. She needs your prayers. She needs your love.
Over the course of my life I've learned that there are some situations I can't change. No matter how hard I try. This might be one you can't change, John.
Only Cassie can make the decisions she needs to make. Love her. Give her space. Give yourself space. Give yourself some peace.
BocaGirl
Barbara
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