STORM2K

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf."
-Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf

"I told [GM] Roland Hemond to go out and get me a big name
pitcher. He said, 'Dave Wehrmeister's got 11 letters. Is
that a big enough name for you ?'"
-Eddie Eichorn, White Sox owner

"Raise the urinals."
-Darrel Chaney on how management could keep the Braves on
their toes

"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
-Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach,
John Jenkins, 1991

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes
first."
-New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers

"Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious."
-Charles Shackleford of the NCSU basketball team

"Are you any relation to your brother Marv?"
-Basketball player Leon Wood to announcer Steve Albert

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we
went to."
-Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon
during his visit to Greece

"He (Julio Cesar Chavez) speaks English, Spanish, and he's
bilingual, too."
-Don King, boxing promoter.

how funny

Here's a couple more:

"The media complains about these guys getting $2-3 million a year. You guys forget that there's some of us that only get $500,000 a year."- Pete Incaviglia, Detroit Tigers, 1991

"I like it a lot better here. It's a much more relaxed atmosphere. Over (in Oakland) all they cared about was winning."- Jose Canseco, after being traded from the Oakland A's, who were in the midst of a 5-year playoff run, to the Texas Rangers, who at that point never went to the playoffs, 1992