10 Lies Women tell Men

mf_dolphin · #1 Postby **mf_dolphin** » Mon Mar 03, 2003 11:21 am

10. I wouldn't change a thing about you
Do you really believe she wouldn't prefer ripped abs and bulging biceps to your hairy beer belly? Do you think that she actually enjoys listening to you snore like a grizzly bear? Reality check: Even if you're still in the honeymoon phase she'll soon come to her senses and realize there are many things about you she'd like to change. So if she hasn't figured out your faults yet, then enjoy her approval while it lasts.

9. I love hanging out with your friends
No matter how great your friends are, your girlfriend doesn't want them around all the time. Even though she might have told you this little white lie when you first started dating, don't expect it to last. After a couple of hours of being surrounded by your loud, beer-guzzling, chip-munching buddies, she'll throw in the towel. Try to keep visits from your friends to a minimum and she might just keep pretending she loves them.

8. I don't mind picking up after you
Here's another lie your girlfriend might tell at the beginning of your relationship. She'll say she really doesn't mind picking up the dirty dishes and she loves doing your laundry. I hate to break it to you, but this isn't going to last. Soon enough, she'll be telling you to wash your smelly gym socks yourself.

7. I love your family
It's possible your girlfriend may find your family totally loveable. However, if she despises them, she will probably spare your feelings and keep her distaste to herself. Observe her reaction the next time your parents invite the two of you over for dinner. If she throws on a fake smile and mutters "Great" under her breath, then she definitely isn't crazy about them. If she really hates them, then this could kill your relationship. Avoid a major blowup by limiting family visits to birthdays and holidays.

6. I love sports
Ah, another first date classic. She may tell you that she loves watching basketball, but unless you're lucky enough to have found one of the rare true female sports fans, she'll soon complain every time you sit down to watch a game. Sorry guys, but your dreams of curling up with a six-pack and a hot woman in front of the tube are probably pure fantasy.

5. I won't get mad if you think I look fat
Unless you've been living under a rock for the better part of your adult life, you've probably figured out that this is a trap. No matter what you say, she will get mad. If you try to tell her that she looks great, she'll accuse you of lying to make her feel better about her rhinoceros butt. On the other hand, if you tell her that she has in fact put on a couple of pounds, you're likely to set off World War III in your living room. Basically, the only way to deal with this situation (short of faking a heart attack) is to brace yourself and wait until the monsoon passes.

4. You're right
Do your arguments with your girlfriend usually end up with her admitting that you're right and that you know better than her? And you actually believe her? Even if she realizes she's wrong, chances are slim to none that she'll actually admit it. The fact is that many women will tell you that you're right to shut you up, but what they're really thinking is: "He'll find out soon enough that I'm right." Then they'll proceed to find some devious way to prove their point to you. Keep this metaphor from My Big Fat Greek Wedding in mind: The man is the head but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head any way she wants. Basically, the guy thinks that he knows what's going on and that he's in control, but he doesn't realize that his woman is the one who actually has the real control, albeit in a much more subtle way.

3. It doesn't bother me when you check out other women
Although she may say this at first to seem cool and open-minded, chances are that it secretly drives her nuts when you eyeball the hot redhead at the grocery store. It's quite simple: She wants to feel like you only have eyes for her even though she may not look like Pamela Anderson's long-lost twin. Therefore, even if she tells you that it doesn't bother her, you're better off not letting your eyes wander too often if you don't want it to blow up in your face when you least expect it. And if you're honest with yourself, you'll admit that you wouldn't be too thrilled either if your girlfriend started checking out every hot guy that crossed her path.

2. I don't care how much money you have
Although it isn't true that all women care about is the size of a man's bank account, most women want a guy who is financially stable and independent. No, they don't all want a sugar daddy; they just want to know that their man is capable of taking care of a potential future family. Of course, your girlfriend probably won't tell you this so as not to scare you off with discussions about family and the future.

1. Don't worry honey, it happens to everyone
Most men will have temporary erectile difficulties at some point in their lives and most women are aware of this fact. However, that doesn't mean that it doesn't bother your girlfriend when you're getting hot and heavy and suddenly there's nothing happening down there. This lie is only one of the dozens of sex-related lies that women tell to spare their partner's feelings, including the classics "size doesn't matter" and "you're the best I've ever had." Fortunately, these fibs aren't really harmful. After all, even if you aren't the best she's ever had, she chose to be with you over any other guy, no matter how good (or bad) the sex is.

#2 Postby **pojo** » Mon Mar 03, 2003 11:32 am

I resent #6. I do watch sports...especially Football and Basketball. Otherwise, the rest are rather interesting.

#3 Postby **streetsoldier** » Mon Mar 03, 2003 11:33 am

AW, C'MON! :roll:

I WISH my wife paid that much attention to me... :cry:

Amanzi · #4 Postby **Amanzi** » Mon Mar 03, 2003 11:43 am

lol marshall they should give a copy of this to every couple before they tie the knot!

Stormsfury · #5 Postby **Stormsfury** » Mon Mar 03, 2003 11:49 am

Hmmm...interesting list.

Rule No. 9 - Especially in the beginning of a relationship. I do not want my friends around. I would want to be with my g/f and often. If my g/f wants to be intimate, I do not want my friends around, period.

Rule No. 5- Guys, there's no correct way to answer that one. - No matter what you do. Best thing to do, guys. Change the subject. If that doesn't work, take your woman and plant one big long kiss on her, and answer, "What do you think?" - Actually, I'd try the long kiss first.

Rule No. 3-Guys and Girls alike are apt to look - that's human nature. I don't see anything wrong with looking. Staring on the other hand might be a little troublesome.

#6 Postby **Stephanie** » Mon Mar 03, 2003 1:08 pm

Only ten???? :wink:

mf_dolphin · #7 Postby **mf_dolphin** » Mon Mar 03, 2003 1:36 pm

Those are just the top ten!

#8 Postby **wx247** » Mon Mar 03, 2003 2:42 pm

LOL. Thanks for the great laugh. Sooo true!

Garrett :band:

southerngale · #9 Postby **southerngale** » Mon Mar 03, 2003 4:57 pm

6. I love sports
Ah, another first date classic. She may tell you that she loves watching basketball, but unless you're lucky enough to have found one of the rare true female sports fans, she'll soon complain every time you sit down to watch a game. Sorry guys, but your dreams of curling up with a six-pack and a hot woman in front of the tube are probably pure fantasy.

I guess I'm rare. :wink:

#10 Postby **pojo** » Mon Mar 03, 2003 5:21 pm

southerngale...you aren't the only one.

mf_dolphin · #11 Postby **mf_dolphin** » Mon Mar 03, 2003 6:12 pm

We are very fortunate to have so many sports living women!

Now how about 1-5 and 7-10 :?:

:o

10 Lies Women tell Men

10 Lies Women tell Men

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