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Real 911 Calls; Believe it or not!!

Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 11:48 am
by TexasStooge
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Hi, is this the police?
Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. Fire or emergency?
Caller: Fire, I guess.
Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
Caller: I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?
Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and....well.... do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband

And the winner is..........
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn...I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn......
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the police.

Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 11:53 am
by Guest
LOL! Love the one about the wife being in labor.

Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 12:38 pm
by Josephine96
LOL I love the 1 about the sandwich

Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 12:42 pm
by Amanzi
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband


ROFLMBO.... I can just picture this scene in my head! This is my poor husbands worst nightmare... me going into labor and not getting to the hospital on time.

Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 12:44 pm
by Josephine96
LOL strange nightmares all around.. I wouldn't wanna be a guy wondering if his wife would make it there. But I will be soon I'm sure lol

Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 1:04 pm
by JCT777
These are hysterical!! :lol: :)

Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 2:32 pm
by weatherlover427
I have a whole book of these - need to find them and get them on here. :lol: Good ones nonetheless. :)

Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 6:57 pm
by David
:lol: :lol:

:) :D

Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 9:28 pm
by StormCrazyIowan
LOL, and everyday I think people can't intrigue me more!! :lol:

Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 10:12 pm
by Colin
ROTFLMAO!!!! :D :lol:

Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2003 10:18 pm
by Josephine96
These are all too funny