Southern Humor

[pojo]

Ok, Ok...I'm from Wisconsin, and we find these funny! Sorry If I offend anyone.


SOUTHERN HUMOR

An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to
the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout what?"

Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a
sack
When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?"
"Jes' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"
"Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!"
"OK. Ummmmm...five?"

An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here - muh house is on fahr!" "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"

Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?
Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.

**********
Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911-operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.
" The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street
and you pick her up there?"


****
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

******
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
Documentaries

******
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called
a teethbrush.

******
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery? The winner
gets $3 a year for a million years.

*******
A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple
gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.

******
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in
Florida have in common?
No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.

******
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," and
the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead".

[StormCrazyIowan]

LMAO!!!! But Shannon, I used to live in North Carolina, SO HELP ME!!!

[GalvestonDuck]

How about:

Kentuckians have great teeth. They keep 'em in a glass by their bed every night.

Of course, any other "-ians" can be substituted for "Kentuckians."

[JCT777]

LOL!

[Pburgh]

Shannon, those are great.
Ducky, I think West Virginians could be substituted.

[JetMaxx]

I agree there are really some dumb people in Georgia (my home state)....Mississippi (where I've lived)....and Alabama, Tennessee, Kentucky, & Virginia (where I have relatives); but the deep south doesn't have a monopoly on stupidity...

For example...

1) Minnesota elected a man to the governers office who is a former pro wrestler who once wore pink boas into the ring...

2) My sister has lived in Portland, Oregon since October 1996, and has been appalled by some of the dumb things she's witnessed and heard from folks in Oregon and nearby Washington the past seven years..

3) I have several 2nd cousins who were born and live in Southern California. They lovingly refer to their home state as "Raisin Bran" (the land of fruits, nuts, and flakes).

Yes, there are definitely some dumb idiots here in the south....really dumb idiots
; but there are also clueless stupid idiots in every state from coast to coast.

[blizzard]

1) Minnesota elected a man to the governers office who is a former pro wrestler who once wore pink boas into the ring...

He was also a Navy Seal who proudly served our great country, more than I can say for our presidents lately.
Best damned governor we've had in awhile.

And by the way, they were just jokes.

[wx247]

Yay! What great jokes. I got those in an e-mail awhile back and just laughed and laughed. Thanks for posting!

[Amanzi]

LOL...
Perry I love this!

I have several 2nd cousins who were born and live in Southern California. They lovingly refer to their home state as "Raisin Bran" (the land of fruits, nuts, and flakes).

[Lindaloo]

And by the way, they were just jokes.

And so were Perrys. Does not feel so good when the shoe is on the other foot huh?

[GalvestonDuck]

To find the idiots in ANY state, all one has to do is go sit in any ER waiting room. There's bound to be one or two in there.

[sunnyday]

I'm from the Deep South, so you know I think these are funny. lololol
Thanks for the laughs....

[JetMaxx]

And by the way, they were just jokes.

And so were Perrys. Does not feel so good when the shoe is on the other foot huh?

It's very interesting Linda. People from up north or west coast seem to think it's really funny to make fun of southerners and the south....but for some reason, when we return the favor and poke a little fun at a northern or western state, they lose their sense of humor very quickly.

What I said about Minnesota was very mild in comparism to what I see posted in reference to southerners on this and other forums. In four years online I've been called an "inbred hick", "white trailer trash", and "racist" because I'm from Georgia; and "hillbilly" because my mom is from eastern Tennessee.

I didn't call anyone in the state of Minnesota an insulting name....only stated an undisputable fact: Jesse Ventura IS a former professional wrestler who WORE a pink boa into the ring. I didn't say I called California "Raisin Bran" -- my cousins Sam and Mary Ann do. Both are lifelong residents of the Golden State-- yet I'm somehow the bad guy?????

[Lindaloo]

Oh I know Perry!! I get tired of it myself. Funny, all those Yankees cry about stereotyping but yet they stereotype the South.

No offense to our Northern buddies here at storm2k.

[weatherlover427]

I live in California and I'm not offended in the least.

[JetMaxx]

Just as any other state in America, there are great places/ people and terrible places/ people in California. My sis and her family lived in the Sacramento area for several months in 1997, and absolutely loved it...Becky said it was the most wonderful place she's ever lived--better than metro Atlanta or Portland.

You cannot judge a state by simply visiting one location. For example, the difference between suburban Atlanta and small rural north or south Georgia hamlets is like comparing night and day -- totally opposite.

Northwestern Oregon is absolutely breathtaking....scenic and beautiful from the Pacific to Portland and Salem to the Cascades...while northeastern Oregon is about as butt ugly and barren looking as any place I've ever seen...even from an airliner it looked sickening, and worse from the ground.

Sure there are rubes and white trash rednecks in Georgia....in trailer parks right here in Douglas County. On my scanner you here the sheriff and ambulances called there almost every night. There are also plenty of nice, peaceful subdivisions full of well educated, friendly, and articulate men and women with children who play basketball and ride bikes in their driveways in complete safety. There are even some $500,000+ homes located on the golf courses at Chapel Hills and Mirror Lake C.C.'s.

Here's something I found surprising when visiting the Pacific Northwest in 1999. In three weeks, I saw far more confederate flags on vehicles and homes there that I've ever seen here in the "racist deep south". If I were a person of color, I'd feel much safer in metro Atlanta than in Portland, Oregon...which is exactly what an African-American friend recently told me...and she's lived in both cities.

[stormchazer]

I dream of the day when we all leave are PC attitudes behind and just laugh when something is funny and ignore it if its not. By the way, I am from West Tennessee. During the Civil War, neither the South or the North would claim us. I liked the jokes.

[TexasStooge]

LOL!

[pojo]

Perry, dont' feel bad, we get laughed at also....But it all has something to do with the packers.

[blizzard]

And by the way, they were just jokes.

And so were Perrys. Does not feel so good when the shoe is on the other foot huh?

It's very interesting Linda. People from up north or west coast seem to think it's really funny to make fun of southerners and the south....but for some reason, when we return the favor and poke a little fun at a northern or western state, they lose their sense of humor very quickly.

What I said about Minnesota was very mild in comparism to what I see posted in reference to southerners on this and other forums. In four years online I've been called an "inbred hick", "white trailer trash", and "racist" because I'm from Georgia; and "hillbilly" because my mom is from eastern Tennessee.

I didn't call anyone in the state of Minnesota an insulting name....only stated an undisputable fact: Jesse Ventura IS a former professional wrestler who WORE a pink boa into the ring. I didn't say I called California "Raisin Bran" -- my cousins Sam and Mary Ann do. Both are lifelong residents of the Golden State-- yet I'm somehow the bad guy?????

No offense taken here Perry, its just that you get pretty defensive no matter what is said here and I appologize for not recognizing your post as humor.