Women's language translated

[chadtm80]

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.

We need... = I want

It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want... = You’ll pay for this later.

We need to talk... = I need to complain

Sure...go ahead = I don’t want you to.

I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!

You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.

I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Am I fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead.

Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

In response to What’s wrong?:

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an idiot

[Guest]

Now that you know the lingo Chad, I expect better responses from you. You got yourself with this one.

[chadtm80]

10 things men know about women:

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1:

2:

3:

4:

5:

6:

7:

8:

9:

10: They can be VERY moody...



Why do you call a womens monthly pain PMS??
Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

[Guest]

Chad YOU are in so much trouble right now! You want to sleep on that couch, eh? LOL

[Miss Mary]

This is almost as exciting as watching what Isabel will do next!!!

You two.....where's Breeze when I need her?

Mary

[mf_dolphin]

Being in my third marriage (that makes me a stupid expert) someday I'm going to write a book on the 101 ways your wife can say yes and mean something entirely different!

[azskyman]

After 32 years of marriage, I thought I could write a good book on all those times when ANY answer was the wrong answer...

Like, how do you like my hair this way?

How do you like these new shoes with these pants?

Get the idea?

Chad...after the hard knocks that Jen sent this way earlier today, it seems only fair that you can have some of your own.

But, for the sake of argument, let us know which one of you ends up on the couch sleeping tonight...

[Guest]

Definitetly will NOT be me

[mf_dolphin]

I don't know of a man yet that has won the couch arguement! LOL

[azsnowman]

Best question NOT to answer..."Does this make my butt look big?"

Dennis

[Guest]

Best question NOT to answer..."Does this make my butt look big?"

Correct response would be: "Of course not dear. It makes you look great!"
Or something along those lines. LOL

[Miss Mary]

But I have to say there are times we really want an honest answer! And I swear I can't get one out of my husband. Ever! He gets this glazed look - almost a Stepford Husband look - when you ask if this outfit looks okay, or your new haircut looks nice. What we get is an automated answer!!!

And that my female Storm2K buds is why we have good gal pals, huh? LOL

Mary

[chadtm80]

Question: Does this dress make my butt look big?

Wrong answer: No its your butt that makes your butt look big

[coriolis]

Yowzers. I'm good with the automatic answers.

Here's another one:

Husband: (Almost any question)

Wife: I don't care.
Translation: You should already know the answer and I'm testing you to see if you know it.

Hey I don't mind the couch. Then I don't have to lie in bed and watch 5 consecutive episodes of "Trading Spaces."

[JetMaxx]

Question: Does this dress make my butt look big?

Wrong answer: No its your butt that makes your butt look big

ROFL!!!!!

[chadtm80]

But I have to say there are times we really want an honest answer

na, good try.. What you meant to say is.. You want an honest answer, but only if the honest answer is that you look nice.. LOL

[chadtm80]

8 things women won't say



8. What do you mean today's our anniversary?

7. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.

6. Ohhhhhh, this diamond is wayyyyyyyyy tooooooo big!

5. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being 'just friends'

4. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?

3. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.

2. I don't care if it's on sale, $300 is way to much for a designer dress.

1. Hey, pull my finger!

[JCT777]

This thread is great! Nice list, Chad.