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I need some help
Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2003 10:45 am
by VAWXWatcher6
I been friends with my best friend for over 6 years, our friendship been all over the place we been friends, best friends, then back to friends then back to best friends, then back to friends, then we got into real close friends, we was just like brother and sister we been like this tell what i did on sunday at church, i all ways sit next to her becuse her ex boyfriend is trying to go back out with her and she wants me to sit next to her to keep him away from her, so i did that and i ended up Flirting with her and she did not tell me to stop or anything, her body laugange was telling me that she liked it, she keep playing with her hair, she keep touching me on the shoulder and things like that but i been feeling sorry and sad since i did it becuse we are so close, i know her better than a boyfriend and i don't know what to do, my mind is telling me to talk to her about but i am scared too, also she has a friend that she likes, my best friend can be a real bad girl, she drinks, smokes and fools around with guys when she is drunk, i can't say a lot about it becuse if she knew i said this she would be mad at me, ...i hope somone can help me with this...bye!
Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2003 11:15 am
by Stephanie
Talk to her about it - it'll be good for you to get it off of your chest and to see what she thinks about all of this.
Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2003 12:05 pm
by JCT777
I agree with Stephanie. Talk to her about how you feel.
Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2003 2:12 pm
by coriolis
Hmmm Va.
My experience is that those "best friends" relationships very rarely develop into something romantic.
It's often a girls way of saying, "You're nice but you're not what I want."
A girl can be "just friends" with a guy, but it's difficult and frustrating for a guy to do that.
Of course if it does, the romantic relationship will have a solid foundation, based on trust and respect. It happened to my sister and brother-in-law and they have still have a great marriage, after 30 years.
Have the talk with her. She may not be ready, or you may be totally misunderstanding each other.
Also, beware of the "signals." They are very often misinterpreted.
If she's not interested, there's nothing you can do. When and if she's ready, she'll let you know.
Until then find something else to do instead of wasting away waiting for something that may not ever happen.
Of course, this is just shooting from the hip, and this is just one point of view.
You're on the saddle bro. It's up to you where you go.
Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2003 2:15 pm
by GalvestonDuck
And by all means, try to make an effort not to flirt in church. The devil will do anything to get your mind off the Message...and then he'll screw with your mind about the message you are getting.
Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2003 2:50 pm
by isobar
In reading your post VA, I couldn't really tell if you want your relationship to change into something romantic or if you want to stay friends. If you do want her as a girlfriend (and if you're old enough to date), I would recommend cautiously testing the waters again - but not in church! (good point G-Duck!) If she flirts back, definitely have that talk.
I had a guy best friend when I was around 20, and we dated on and off for a couple years. It is a rare and beautiful thing to have a relationship like that.
Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2003 12:33 pm
by Guest
I agree with everyone in saying that you should talk to her and see how she feels. I can tell you from first hand experience that a relationship with a great friend is a wonderful thing. Chad and I met in middle school and were good friends throughout high school. Four years into our friendship, we got together. And we've been together ever since (another 4 years). I love him with all my heart and trust him completely. That, my friend, I owe to the great friendship we had BEFORE we got together. Good luck!