I Just Had To... No Church? (UPDATE: I am Returning!)

[Guest]

I am returning! Read recent posts on this thread for more information!!
After the past two months, I have given MANY, MANY chances for my church group to straighten itself up, but unfortunately they have not changed much since I began to notice their little "if you don't believe what we believe to a 'T', then heck with you" jazz last spring.

Sunday, July 24, was my last evening. From here on out, I am listening to the regular, traditional Sunday morning service through the Internet. Other than avoiding the group, I save on gasoline, by utilizing technology to listen to the audio file every week at a time that is convenient for me. They will not even notice that I am gone!

I did not want to do this, but the group and its attitudes were REALLY wearing thin with me, and this past weekend pushed me over the line. Just though I would do an update on this situation. Thanks for reading![/b]

[SFloridaGirl]

sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do

[Windswept]

I too left my church when I came to realise that what was important was not contained within a building, or limited to a set of rules, traditions and policies established by a group of people.

I do suggest, though, that you try a few other denominations. Perhaps, you will find a more welcoming group, as fellowship is also important.

[beachbum_al]

The way I see it is that you can worship God no matter where you are. Church is just a place to meet. And one thing I can't stand is when people judge other people just because they don't agree with them. I was brought in a church all of my life that was like that. It wasn't until I went to college that I started exploring my avenues with different religion. I guess that is how I ended up going from baptist to episcopalian.

[Hurricaneman]

I think these kids need to respect other peoples views

[Guest]

I think these kids need to respect other peoples views

I agree with the ALL of the members here, but Hurricaneman, you say it so simply... That one sentence says it all!

I noticed they had a neat way of pulling people in. (Maybe the more people they get, the more money they can make on retreats and social events I NEVER EVER paid one cent for these things) If they don't like you, they make your life miserable after awhile. I started June 2004, and began to notice they were beginning to ignore me towards the beginning of 2005. I decided to remain on for awhile, but this past couple of months has gone TOO far.

[Miss Mary]

Brian - stories like yours just makes me want to plan my own group outings. Or try to attract others who might feel left out like you are. It's just a real shame this group is a faith based group. But let me tell you, I was born and raised Catholic. And growing up my fellow classmates/teachers/parents were mighty judgemental! Oh yeah, big time.

I'm personally at a crossroads, church wise. Not faith wise. Still have that, but fundamentally I'm so peeved at my city's diocese, for the way they treated sexual abuse victims and for past sermon's I'd hear our Pastor start up....the scandal....putting the focus on the church. Instead of supporting and helping the victims. I haven't been to Mass in months and I do not feel guilty about that!

Good luck Brian...you'll know the perfect fit for you, when you find it.

M.

[bevgo]

They are not all like that---change churches! Sounds like you got with a group that was there for social purposes not worship.

[Guest]

Another one is Campus Crusade for Christ, a "religious" organization that is networked on college/university campuses throughout the world. That group, boys and girls, men and women, dogs and cats, should not even be categorized as a "religious" group on college/university websites.

All they do at their meetings, at least the one at my campus (University of Nebraska-Omaha), is single people out as well and have more billboards for upcoming events than Interstate 70 in Missouri (that is billboard heaven, for those not in the know). I quit that organization after four months (Nov-Feb) during the the falls/spring regular terms due to both being irritated by the group and the schoolwork load getting heavy and stressful.

[bevgo]

as BeachBum said--you can worship anywhere. If campus based ones are not for you then do what you can till you can get to a church that is interested in worship instead of social events and cliques. Best of luck and I applaud you for making the effort.

[southerngale]

They are not all like that---change churches! Sounds like you got with a group that was there for social purposes not worship.

Exactly. I think I'd try another church before I quit going altogether. I guess I'm blessed...I go to the most wonderful Baptist church. I drive farther than most and pass many churches along the way but it's worth it. 100% Bible based church and they make EVERYONE feel welcome. Where you could look at people and think you might see little cliques, you don't. They'll go sit, eat, and fellowship with people you might find regular folks off the street snubbing. The love in that place is enormous and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I just wish it was closer. 25 minutes to and from church gets expensive. There's one a couple of miles from here but I still make that drive a few times a week and have no intention of stopping.

If I was you, I'd just start visiting other churches.

[stormie_skies]

I hear ya, Weatherguy....

I grew up a very over-churched little girl...my elementary and middle school years were spent in the basement of the church my parents attended, at a tiny parochial school. The cliquishness (is that a word?) and judgemental nature of those people drove me to the brink of insanity - even as kids, asking questions or believing something different would get us stern, disapproving looks and nasty corrections - from the teachers as well as the students!

There's nothing wrong with taking a break from church, IMO. All the great spiritual leaders in the Bible found themselves wandering off on their own on occasion, to consult with God on a one-to-one basis - I don't see why we shouldn't be able to do the same thing. A church is just a building - they don't have any monopoly on God.

That said, not all churches are as nasty as the ones you and I have had unfortunate experiences with ... its always worth asking around and perhaps joining a friend at a new church if you are so inclined. I believe different people have different spiritual needs, and some just thrive with the support of a good church.... but don't feel bad for leaving behind a group of people who couldn't accept you for who you are. They are the ones falling short, not you....

[HurryKane]

Like Dolly Parton said in Steel Magnolias: "Honey, God don't care which church you go to as long as you show up."

[Guest]

II don't think I will feel bad with this. It is one of those "mega" churches, with both a physically large building and large offering of programs to go along with the large population. They will not notice that I have left. There are ALOT of people, and it makes it difficult to feel welcomed, I think.

I like the church as a whole Trinity Church, but I will AVOID that one ministry, Terra Nova, like a plague (pun intended). SOmetimesI am not totally on the same level with a majority of the church population, but that's with everything in life. Plus the majority of the members in the entire church do not boast about their status.

[coriolis]

Keep us posted NEWeatherguy, I've been at that crossroads for years and maybe you'll inspire me to get it in gear again.

I've visited a few independent evangelical churches recently and was turned off. There is such an emphasis on "getting" the blessings. Never mentioned discipline, spiritual maturity, or even hell! It seemed a little too sugar coated.

In college, I was "saved" by a high school friend who pulled me out of the whirlpool that I was in. He brought me to the meetings. It was an independent spirit-filled fellowship which was very spiritual, dynamic, committed, accepting and loving. Things were good for several years until two of the elders had a falling out. The group disbanded. That left me disillusioned hurt, and wandering. It also made me question my foundations, and I guess that it wasn't too solid. Since then I got married (probably not the best move for where I was at) and now four kids later, I'm caught up in the busy family life. I really need to get it going again so that my kids can get grounded properly.

It's funny Mary, I've thought about going back to my Catholic roots. Yes there's problems, but I've known quite a few catholics who were quietly and deeply spiritual. My wife refuses to even think catholic again, as she had her own disillusionment with them over her divorce years ago.

The thing that inspires me is to see the faith in individuals, not the organization. I've become pretty jaded and I'm not impressed with the music, the band, the building, or the programs. I need to cross paths with someone who is just oozing with spirituality and have him or her whack me over the head.

[breeze]

Like Dolly Parton said in Steel Magnolias: "Honey, God don't care which church you go to as long as you show up."

That's a big "A-MEN" from me. Life is exploring. Life is
finding the person that YOU are - not just what grandma
and grandpa did, or, even what Mom and Dad did, for
that matter.

You are as individual as it gets - search and find YOU.
Learn to differentiate between "religion" and "spirituality".
There's a world of both, out there. Finding it can be an
adventure!

[Guest]

Tonight, someone called (they have my number on record) and reminded me of the "Summer Picnic" to take place tonight. Argh............ I kindly said thanks for reminding me...I had gone before back in June but left after an hour with a bad taste in my mouth (and it was NOT the food)! I did not go because of the obvious, plus I had my mother's birthday party this evening.

[Swimdude]

You know, there's a right church for everyone. And I don't think you've found it. To be honest, I think it's absolutely impossible to get the same effect out of church from the internet or television. You have to BE there.

Don't give up on church completely. Find a new one. And listen, this is coming from someone who has never belonged to a church. [Parents... But that's private.]

I know this sounds strange from someone younger than you, but if you have any questions or need suggestions, just PM me.

[Guest]

Well, as I attempted to back in June/early July to try to take a break from S2K, that lasted TWO days (maybe less, don't remember)!! Well, same with this situation.


This evening I have elected to return to Terra Nova! Why, you may ask? Well, I was thinking about how uninviting I have been with other members. I must admit that I have been very worried, concerned to the brink of getting sick. I just worry about the same things over and over again. Did I punch out at work? Did I turn my headlights off? Did I do this? Did I do that?

How you might ask did this cause me to SEEM like I was being pushed away? Well, quite frankly I was helping to push myself away! Really! I was just in some bad moods; did not want to have anything to do with fun because how can one of fun when they have the world on their shoulders? It is not impossible but it is difficult.

Now some bring up beliefs that may have affected me. I believe in what they believe; Jesus gave his life for our benefit. I do believe abortion is a bad thing, in addition to homosexuality. People have rights, though. As much as I wish everything could work in great harmony with each other, that is far from being reality!

I know I am going to catch a human hurricane with the forces of Charlie, Ivan and Dennis (:lol:), but with my down, depressed mind I pushed away from the other members with the attitude of "who needs them" and "why would they want to know me?" I need to try harder; I just can't stand out in la-la land and expect people to greet me and become friends.

I just wanted to let my cyber friends at S2K know that I have decided to do my church group again. [/b]

[Swimdude]

Nice to hear of your decision! And don't ever try to leave S2K... Yeah, i've tried too. That worked for a few minutes.