Stay at home dad's or mom's....

[BUD]

Several months ago I made a decision to quit my full time job and went to work part time. My wife works full time as a manager, and I work part time. I wanted to spend more time at home with my daughter. She has learning problems. Income wise we are fine. I just like it because I used to work third shift but now I can go to work in the afternoon and work my 8 to 10 hrs. and go home. It is great!!! I also have more time to go fishing and do other things at home. So I was just wondering if there were stay at home dad's and mom's out there and what you all think.

[azskyman]

We have a stay-at-home dad's club here in Phoenix. My neighbor has not worked away from home since after their daughter was born about four years ago. He has gatherings once a week at other SAHD member homes, and says he enjoys it. He has two children to take care of all during the week...both under age 7. His wife works full time.

If there's a flaw in the system that I see, mom finally gets home from work after 5 days at the office and he takes off to go fishing for the weekend while she gets the kids at least one full day..often two, before going back to work.

Nothing flawed about enjoying your weekend, but mom seems to get the short end of the stick. Even these male eyes can see that!!!

As for me, I worked two jobs from 1972 through 1997. My first true FREE Saturday (as opposed to a scheduled day off) came after I was 50 years old.

So the only time I was a SAHD was on Sunday. By then, my youngest son was 20!

I think we all turned out alright. Limited jail time and piercings. I don't believe I have any grandkids I don't know about.

But then...on second thought. That Disney cruise back in 1988...hmmm. Walt would have turned over in his grave if he knew what went on with the teens on that ship!!!

Good luck...and I'm sure your daughter will appreciate the extra attention....and you will too.

[streetsoldier]

I'm a SAHD out of necessity; I'm disabled in many ways and unable to work at all.

In fact, I'm so ill at this time that I was unable to attend my son's graduation to green belt at his Tae Kwon Do dojong this evening. I was told that he broke all the required boards (equals the ability to break a man's ribs with his feet! ), and he was SO happy.

In the meantime, my hands have become little more than "flippers": I can't lift anything at all (even a cup of coffee takes both hands), and I'm unable to sleep well...much less enjoy "outside" activities (anything involving leaving the house).

[azskyman]

Off the topic of this post, but congratulations to both you and Kevin for his graduation!

I am proud of you both...always!

[Swimdude]

You know, I think there's nothing with staying at home and taking care of your children. I think it's wonderful.

[beachbum_al]

I have been a sahm for eight years. I am going back to work this year (substitute teacher). I think it is wonderful that you are staying home with your children.

[Pebbles]

I think it's awesome. I love being a full time SAHM. I will admit to sometimes feeling a little couped up and lonely. But my 3 kids are so worth it! I think it's awesome when Dads take time to be with their kids. If both husband and wife are cool with it then why not. Too often Dad's don't spend enough time with their kids... or think their responsibility is only to put food on the table. It's not that they don't love their kids... in fact they love them very much... but they just don't know how important quality time is with their kids.

We go without lotsa things in order for me to stay at home and live in a lesser quality neighborhood then I would like. But am hoping that the positive impact of raising my own children will counter any negatives from that. Later in life when they are older I can work and we can hopefully have a home in a better neighborhood, but we can only raise are kids once! WTG for being such a loving Dad!

[Miss Mary]

I've just had the best job in the whole world - being a stay at home mom. It's about to come to an end though.....oldest is going off to college. I would have been working long before now, since our youngest is going into 10th grade. A few surgeries got in the way there, chronic health problems and a few attempts to get a college degree. But I've just loved being home with them.

The best days were snow days! I was jumping around the family room with them. We had such fun on 'free' days like that and made the most of our time together.

I do not regret any of it. I'm also very grateful I could be home.

Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era/decade. I would have made a great June Cleaver....just skip the high heels and pearls....LOL

Mary

[feederband]

Just recently became a disabled SAHD....

[HurriCat]

We have only the fur-face kids (cats). But here is what I have observed in friends w. kids: The ones whose mom or dad are there for them are better, period. They are better behaved, do better in school and are less likely to be little a-holes. The majority of kids are TV & Daycare raised and it shows. Walk the campus of most middle and high schools. These little savages are the main reason I changed jobs. Their verbal abuse, screaming and profanity are shocking. They have shaken ladders with workmen on them. We had vehicles damaged, spat on, and tools stolen. Workers, including myself, were struck by objects thrown from a crowd. Brand new buildings are quickly vandalized and littered. But guess what? The same parents who let strangers and TV be their kids' role models will then storm the schools' office and literally threaten the administration should they have the "gall" to discipline the kids. And the little you-know-what kids know this, too, and count on it. Our district had a special regulation passed in which administration can ban parents from campuses. It has gotten that bad.

What it comes down too is that the sort of parent who chooses to be there even if it means a tight bank account is the better parent. Those who put careers and money (things) ahead of parenting are doomed. They are failing their kids and the rest of society. The end result is a techno-barbarian - a kid with an iPod but no morals. You can't buy a good, well-raised kid. You build them through example. And the schools, with any notion of God and discipline being PC'd away will not do it, either.

[Kim_in_MN]

. . . . . . I do not regret any of it. I'm also very grateful I could be home.

Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era/decade. I would have made a great June Cleaver....just skip the high heels and pearls....LOL

Mary

ITA. I was able to stay at home full-time with my son (well, almost, I worked one day a week and brought some work home with me to do when my son was in bed) and for the first two years of my daughters life. My daughter is now six and starting kindergarden and I still haven't worked full-time; although since my divorce I have had to work more than one day a week . Sometimes life throws you a curve, but I was able to be at home seven years and I loved every minutes of it.

Bud, when your daughter is older she will be greatful for all of the extra time you gave her - and you will be happy you were able to do it.

Kim

[beenthru6]

I too am a sahm, and have been for 6 years now. When my then two year old came home from daycare with a new colorful vocabulary, I realized that no matter what it took, I had to come home and raise my own kids. We went to half of the income and boy was it ever a learning experience, but believe it or not, we are actually better off financially now than we were before. Last year I started delivering the morning papers, (the only job I could find that allowed me to still be a sahm). My kids get cooked from scratch meals, they are never left home alone waiting on me or my husband to get home from work, and I am always available for whatever they need.

I think if a dad can stay at home that is wonderful, and I applaud all of you who are going against the trend.

[drudd1]

I am also a SAHD, and feel lucky to have the chance. It took some adjustment, since I was used to the go, go, go of working 70 and 80 hours a week. It is great having a parent available 24/7, and I think both our son and daughter have benefited immensely from it. It has also given my wife a chance to dedicate more time to her career, and she is flourishing professionally.

It has also given me the ability to volunteer with both of my children's schools, and what better way to have a firm handle on how things are going there. Both are straight A students, heavily involved in sports, and our home seems to be the hangout of choice for all their friends during the summer. I am surrounded by children, and life couldn't be better. I have the best job in the world!