Stupid People

[southerngale]

"Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm stupid".

That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign."



It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes.

Here's your sign."




A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope.
Talked 'em into giving up.

Here's your sign."




I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."
"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me.

Here's your sign."




We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!"

See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.




I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and
eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning ...okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I
couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "Nope, I'm delivering a bridge...

Here's your sign."




I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago.

Here's your sign."


Anybody you know need a sign today? The next time someone says something stupid ask them where their sign is . . .

[Suzi Q]

Way to go Kelly. Too freaking funny. I needed some humour after the uproar over the "Yet to Develop" Tropical Storm!

[Josephine96]

Very nice Kelly and truthful as well

[breeze]

ROTF, SG!! Those were hilarious!

My all-time favorite, at the office - (the girls still
laugh about this one)...truly a "here's your sign":

I answer the phone.....

Me: "Dr ________'s office..."

Person: "Uhhhh...is this Dr _____'s office?"

Me: "Dr._________'s office - can I help you?"

Person: "Yes - is this Dr._______'s office?"

Me: "Yes - this is Dr.________'s office - can I help you?"

Person: "Is this Anita?"

Me: "No, this is not Anita - this is Annette. How can I
help you?"

Person: "Is this the nurse?"

Me: "Yes - this is Annette - the nurse - how can I help you?"

Person: "I need to reschedule my appointment."

Well, since I have no access to the computer that reschedules,
it's my job to transfer them to the secretary or the office
manager, which ever one is available, at the moment.

Office Manager: "This is _____, can I help you?"

Person: "I need to reschedule my appointment."

Office Manager: "Ok....you do realize that rescheduling
will put your appointment back several weeks?"

Person: "That's ok."

Office Manager: "Ok - your appointment is.........(2 weeks
past the previous appointment.)

Person: "Ummmmm.....ok.......um, do you have anything
sooner?"


Here's your sign...........!!!

[Josephine96]

LMAO

[southerngale]

LOL breeze! Did you give them a sign when they came in?

[Josephine96]

Sounds like the right thing for Breeze to do Kelly,

[abajan]

...It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?". . .

It was simply an expression of surprise and not really meant to be question at all. Actually, most of us talk that way, don't we?

But of course I think you already knew that and are just being funny here.

[breeze]

LOL breeze! Did you give them a sign when they came in?

No, I was very good - but, I could see that sign
right before me, in my mind....