How to tell if your a Republican or a Democrat

[j]

Are you a Democrat or Republican
1) What is your personal income level? Is it:

- Too much!
- Not enough money, but any more would make me evil.
- Whatever the government lets me keep.
- Money is a tool of the capitalistic overclass which etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
- I have no income. I've rejected money and illegally inhabit a national park.


2) Describe your family:

- I'm married with three kids. Oh, and a live-in transsexual who joins us in our orgies.
- The rules of the commune prohibit disclosing personal information.
- I don't believe in families.
- I don't believe in the word "describe."


3) What is the most politically incorrect thing about Scooby Doo?

- Daphne never does anything but stand around and look pretty.
- Scooby was never referred to as a Canine-American.
- Velma is such a lesbian stereotype.
- Shaggy never shares his marijuana.
- "Scooby Snack" reward system encourages mass consumption.
- Criminals are actually put in prison.


4) There's this weird drunk hanging out in front of your home. Do you:

- Give him two bucks and think highly of
- Direct him to a government agency that will help him.
- Start a government agency that will help him.
- Respect his personal choice.
- Give Senator Kennedy a ride home.


5) I'm against school vouchers because...

- Bad teachers need jobs too!
- The NEA is against it and a labor union certainly wouldn't do anything in its own interest.
- A monopoly always yields better results than competition.


6) Bill Clinton's Welfare Reform Policy is:

- A document with "GOP" scribbled out & "Bill's" written in with a fat purple magic marker.
- "It's a trap that discourages work & rewards illegitimacy and we're keeping it."
- What would you like it to be?
- What time is it?


7) Bill Clinton's Official Drug Policy is:

- Whatever the Republicans are currently working on.
- A new poster: "Don't Be A Shaggy; Share Your Drugs!"
- White House aides using drugs won't be allowed to work unless they're Democrats.
- "Just say no to inhaling!"
- What would you like it to be?
- What time is it?


8) Why do you admire Hillary Clinton?

- Anyone who can make $100K without knowing cattle futures deserves admiring.
- The only dead people I can conjure up are Paul Lynde and Redd Foxx.
- If only I could lie so convincingly!
- Hey! She puts up with Bill! Give her some credit.
- We need more strong, intelligent women in prison.


9) What would Bill Clinton have to do for you to not vote for him?

- Develop a big ugly eyestalk in the middle of his forehead.
- Appear in a remake of "Bedtime for Bonzo."
- Claim to be "more famous than JFK!"
- Wear a t-shirt showing a bullet-riddled Snoopy.
- Join the Republican party.


10) If Bill and Hillary discovered _________ in Chelsea's room, they would disown her. ONLY ONE ANSWER IS CORRECT.

- Condoms.
- Marijuana.
- Cocaine.
- A videotape with a note: "It was fun! Here's a copy--Rob Lowe"
- An antique German lampshade with a registration tattoo on it.
- "The Way Things Oughta Be" by Rush Limbaugh.


11) Al Gore's dynamic speech pattern makes him an excellent choice for the position of:

- Vice President.
- President.
- Governor.
- Senator.
- Environmental spokesman.
- TalkieToy Robot recorded voice.
- Kindergarten teacher.


12) Bill Clinton strongly believes in:

- Bill Clinton.
- Bill Clinton.
- Bill Clinton.
- Bill Clinton.


13) There is a logical, believable way that missing Whitewater documents showed up in the White House reading room that adjoins Hillary's office after the administration claimed to have handed over all relevant documents:

- They were being used to line Sock's box.
- Time-traveling KGB spies plotting to avenge the fall of communism.
- They had been blank sheets of paper until Bill spilled lemon juice on them.
- That rascally David Copperfield again!
- Hillary had them.


SCORING: None. IF you think this is a humor page, you're a Republican. IF you had a hard time picking the best answer because they're all so true, you're a Democrat

[mf_dolphin]

ROFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess that makes me a Republican!

[southerngale]

ROFLOL!!!! Republican here!!! No doubt about it!!

[GalvestonDuck]

*snicker* I'm so darned Republican, I have a trunk and tusks (that from another one of those online polls).

[chadtm80]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*snicker* I'm so darned Republican, I have a trunk and tusks

Me tooooooooooooo

[Colin]

ROTFLMAO! Dunno the answer to half those questions... :p

[JetMaxx]

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!

I'm not a republican....I just vote republican 99.99999% of the time

[GalvestonDuck]

I'm not a republican....I just vote republican 99.99999% of the time

They need that on bumper stickers and t-shirts! "I'm not Republican...I just vote that way!"

[ameriwx2003]

LMFAO. Well say I am an Independent but I am LMAO now:):):)

[stormraiser]

LOL. where can I get one of those

I'm not a republican....I just vote republican 99.99999% of the time

They need that on bumper stickers and t-shirts! "I'm not Republican...I just vote that way!"

[WidreMann]

Removed by WidreMann

[JetMaxx]

Well, I can't speak for j...but I am what I am, and get it honestly; from where I live, where I grew up. I was raised to believe in decency, honesty, and respect...respect for my elders, for ladies, for the law, for God, for my country, it's symbols (i.e - flag), and the men and women who protect us.

Am I some kind of elitist fanatic? HELL NO!! Do I believe in men behaving as gentlemen and women as ladies? HELL YES!! I believe in folks taking personal responsibility for their actions...if they screw up, apologize and pledge not to screw up again.

I'm not wealthy, or even middle class. At 41, the best paying job I ever held paid about $9.00 an hour (EDS). Most of my jobs paid less than $7; and I've guarded buildings all night long for minimum wage, and have cleaned schools for minimum wage.
I've never owned a new car in my life....never spent a week in Hawaii or the Caribbean. My greatest luxury is Webtv (I don't have cable tv...can't afford both).

Do I feel compassion for people that are poor? Sure...I've been there (am currently unemployed). Do I feel sorry for murderers, rapists, drunk drivers, child molesters, drug dealers; and for welfare mothers that wouldn't work if you gave them a job and a limo ride to and from work? NOT FOR A SECOND! They reap what they sow because of their lack of conscience and lack of ethics....and it p#sses me off to pay taxes to keep them fed, clothed, and sheltered.

I'm not a fanatical right winger....I'm a decent, law abiding, God fearing American citizen -- the kind of guy that helped make this country great, and are trying to keep it great. If that makes me a "bad guy" to liberals...so be it.

Am I against gun control? Yes, even though the only guns I own are one .38 S&W revolver and a Winchester pump shotgun (never been hunting in my life). I don't need an arsenal...I do need the right to defend my family with deadly force if attacked.

Am I against abortion? Yes...because I believe the bible, and God's word tells me life begins at conception...not when a baby is born. I'm not a religious kook, but I do believe in heaven and hell; and that everyone will face judgement before God almighty for their sins after death.

I'm not sure what the percentage is across America, but in Douglas County Georgia, over 95% of the guys are just like me -- conservative. We ALL get it honestly...because our parents and grandparents believed it, and lived it before us. I try to set the example for my sisters kids, and my baby sister that my elders set for me.

Conservative yes....law abiding yes....a fanatic? no way! Filled with hate?
If you need a friend, I'm the guy you want around....I don't hate anyone.

I am what I am....like me or loathe me....because I won't ever change.

[David]

vbhoutex tells me to be respectful to people with such political opinions (i.e. j). However, I find that j, who seems to be nothing more than a hateful, middle-class, far right-winger and is above all an ignorant idiot and doesn't seem to care. That's insulting to me. Of course, it's sort of like speaking out against the government here and on other weather boards if you don't agree with the prevailing ideology. Ban me if you will, but I find it a bit ridiculous, especially when my reasonable counter-arguments are responded to with statements such as "you just don't understand", "I can't possibly understand how you could hold that opinion, how dare you challenge us."

In this case, my opinion is that you can have your opinion for anyone. But I heard of something... if you cannot say something polite(or atleast respectful), don't say it at all.