Husband at Wal-Mart

[angelwing]

Husband at Wal-Mart

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse.

One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of Polident and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

5. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

7. September 23: When a clerk asked if she could help him, he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

9. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

And last, but not least:

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

Regards,

Wal-Mart

[lurkey]

LOL

Must've been working of this list -- 101 Things to do at Walmart.

[JonathanBelles]

OMG I've done some of that stuff before!!

[CajunMama]

#11, the madonna one had me cracking up!

[southerngale]

[Brent]

I've seen this list before. It's still funny.

[DanKellFla]

I love it.... I hate shopping. But my wife usually doesn't force me to go along because I become such a pest. I love using the paging system to tell her how much I love her.
"To the babe in Aisle 2, you are hot!"

[BUD]

Yep, and now some of these things can get you a night in Jail!!!!!Our local police dept do not play around.BUT I will say a few is funny!!!! Just do not get on the PA and scream: CODE BROWN (shooting situation)

[O Town]

ROFL!
I like number 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.