Needing 2 talk. I've been living 2 lies n need to fess up

[TexasStooge]

We all make mistakes there, pal; admitting them is the first step.

[artist]

If only you knew how many I have made in my 50 years!

[MusicCityMan]

or how many I've made lol. we all make mistakes.. no ones' perfect.

[Thierry_Gironde]

As I very rarely post here, I am at once hesitant to offer any kind of advice, but at the same time feel somewhat compelled to do so.

Lies serve many purposes in the human experience--some necessary, some trivial. All people 'wear' many masks, or personae, as a means of shielding one's true, inner world from the potential pain that the outside world inevitably inflicts (intentional or otherwise.) Some masks are reactionary, others more deliberate, but regardless of causative or teleological factor, a mask is never a true representation of the person beneath--they are, in fact lies.

We all exist in a kind of uncertain state between being-as-subject, and being-as-object (or kind of like 'cogito ergo sum, et esse est percipitatus (my latin is piss-poor.)) More simply, we struggle to assert ourselves as the extant, but to do so, require some other extant to perceive us. To live for yourself, to live as others wish, to live according so societal or cultural ideals, it is difficult to juggle between such existential forces.

You're probably wondering when this is going to have any relevance to your situation. Heh, I tend to be rather round-about. Admitting to a lie...is a neutral act. It is an admirable thing, sure, but I believe it almost to be a way of giving the lie a mask, and letting fade into the past. Behind a lie is uncertainty, or some kind of deep seated fear or vulnerability. We lie because we are terrified that our personal hopes, dreams, and aspirations will be met with resistance or even ridicule.

Unless that insecurity that gave rise to the lie is examined, it will eventually demand another mask. I think it's quite brave of you to admit what you have. So having begun to remove those masks, what next? What is it that you want for yourself? Do you want to go to school? Do you want to be baptised?

My dad was terrified of himself and others. He'd lie about anything, everything, as a means of running away from things about himself and his life that he was unwiling to confront. He'd admit to his lies, sure, but he never stood in front of his existential fear and said, "I am." So he lived with uncertainty, and even though I was with him as he died, his last breath was essentially a whisper of regret and loneliness.

I know this is really long, seems meandering and perhaps completely not helpful to you--if only I could be more succint!--but I guess what I wanted to say is this: confessing to one's lies is courage, but to find and face one's truth (be it frightening, ugly, radiant...etc,) is strength beyond words.

Best of luck, and I hope I have helped in some way. Though I'm a bit worried I've made no sense. Again, best of luck.

--Thierry

[Dionne]

Have you considered a career in politics? You sound like an ideal candidate. If that doesn't suit your fancy try the insurance sales industry. Put your talents to work.

[Pburgh]

"confessing to one's lies is courage, but to find and face one's truth (be it frightening, ugly, radiant...etc,) is strength beyond words."

Well said.

Have you been baptised in any church, John? Possibly when you were a baby?

Please have a change of heart and give school a chance. I think you'd do well. ((HUGS))

[MusicCityMan]

Hello Karan..

My mom always used to tell me.. "why do u wanna get baptized a 2nd time.." You already have been.. Come to know.. that I was "sprinkled".. not like my pastor preaches and does it with a baptism by immersion.

As for school.. Well.. I.. don't.. know lol.. Even tho I know I'd do real well and probably get a job that would give me a 6 or 7 digit salary.. I just dont know..

I went to my pastor this morning during our invitation time at church.. and I'll get my belivers' baptism by immersion on the Sunday of Labor Day weekend. {we do them at our church on the 1st sunday night of every month..}

I'm actually kinda excited. Feel like my shoulders had a 100 lb weight lifted off each side.

[GalvestonDuck]

Just curious -- what explanation does your pastor give when he says your previous baptism was not valid? Is it only because of the water -- because you were sprinkled and not immersed? Is it because you were a baby when you were baptized? Has he said anything about how you were baptized "in the Name of The Father, and of The Son, and of the Holy Spirit" and not with another phrase? Into what church are you being baptized?

I remember a Christian comedian named Mike Warnke who had a bit about baptism. He said they should take everyone out in the parking lot, put the Catholics on the edge, the Baptists in the middle, and then bring out a garden hose. That way, the Catholics get sprinkled, the Baptists get soaked, and everyone's happy.

For whatever the reason it is that your pastor wants you to get baptized a second time, I just pray that it's for your sake and your soul.

[BocaGirl]

Hello Karan..

As for school.. Well.. I.. don't.. know lol.. Even tho I know I'd do real well and probably get a job that would give me a 6 or 7 digit salary.. I just dont know..

John,
Wow...A degree that gets you a job earning a 6 or 7 digit salary is worth your while. In fact, I'll sign up too!

Seriously though, even though your salary bracket after graduation might not be as high as 6 or 7 digits, I hope and pray you start back to school. Your current employer, WalMart, is not known for their generous and kind ways with employees. Additionally, today's labor market is volatile and no one is safe and secure. If something happens to your present job, what will you fall back on...where will you go?

A degree or career training provides new options and opens doors. Do it now, John, while you're young and don't have family obligations weighing you down. It's much harder to go to night school when you have a family of small schildern, or a pregnant wife! Why not look into Walmart's educational benefits or see what the state or your community offers?

Just my 2 cents.

BocaGirl
Barbara

[Derek Ortt]

what position are you at with your Wal Mart

I am asking you this because a friend of mine, who is only two months older than myself left college, is now a direct assistant manager, one step below becoming a GM, which he thinks he will be in the not too distant future.

If you have the chance to go into management... GO FOR IT AND DON'T BLOW THIS OPPORTUNITY. If you are going to be stuck in an hourly position... get your keister back in school yesterday

[MusicCityMan]

Ok.. well.. Let me try to explain these lol..

My pastor says a baptism by immersion is what the bible teaches. Not being sprinkled or what not. Because when u are immersed it's a symbol of being buried with Christ and when u are risen back up.. it's a symbol of the resurrection. {I think thats it.. or something along those lines}.

As for the 6 or 7 digit salary. I wanna go into the journalism business. I think I can write/report, stories just as good as somebody such as Brian Williams, or the late Peter Jennings.

I have always been told that maybe my journalistic abilities are my gift and I should use them.

[Janie2006]

Don't beat yourself up. Everyone makes mistakes. I've made some real doozies in my time.

Duckie brings up an important point....you may very well have been baptized already. In my view, a Catholic baptism is equally valid, if that indeed is the situation. For example, I converted to Catholicism about 10 years ago. I was baptized as a Baptist and the Church recognized that baptism as valid. In my opinion, there should be some reciprocity here!

I'll echo the same advice as my fellow posters...go to school. Be careful of the passage of time, it will sneak up on you in a hurry. That being said, sometimes it takes time for a person to discover their passion, and the college experience can be an important part of that process. On occasion, a single course with the right professor can change the course of your life. The people you meet and the connections made can be very important as well, but really, you won't know unless you try. It's certainly possible to make a good living working for companies like Wal-Mart, but I'd ask if that is where your talent and passion reside. Follow your heart in these matters. If you feel your talents and abilities are not being fully utilized, they probably aren't. Besides, a degree makes you marketable.

[Category 5]

Everybody makes mistakes once in a while, and just because one makes a mistake doesn't mean he or she is a bad person.

And I give you alot of credit for coming out with it.

[MusicCityMan]

Thank u Cat 5.. Feels so good to get my mistakes out into the open.. I feel like a huge weight got lifted off each shoulder..