Laws of Life

[angelwing]

*Laws of Life*

* Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the
store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first
five.

* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the
corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and
just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

* Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be
doing, you'll want to be doing something else.

* Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

* Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when
stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the
market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

* Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When
you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.