Some Universal Laws

[Stephanie]

Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Telephone:

When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every
time)

Bath Theorem:

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last

Law of Coffee:

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the
newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:

No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

[breeze]

LOL, good ones, Steph!

Another take on the bath theorem:
As soon as your butt hits the toilet seat, the phone
in the next room will always ring!

Never fails!!

[Stephanie]

LOL, good ones, Steph!

Another take on the bath theorem:
As soon as your butt hits the toilet seat, the phone
in the next room will always ring!

Never fails!!

ABSOLUTELY!!!

[coriolis]

The best way to get someone to return a phone call is to go outside for a cigarette.

[Stephanie]

The best way to get someone to return a phone call is to go outside for a cigarette.

Yep, that's another one!

[Dee Bee]

These are great -- and absolutely true!