Reflections on Rita and life.

[coriolis]

Rita was here and is gone for me. We got about an inch of much needed rain. I went outside at lunchtime and I was sure that I could smell the salt air of the ocean. Maybe it was just the power of believing it, but it was a treat because it's been years since I was to the shore. I feel a bit of guilt because it was a good thing for us here, while so many others had their lives disrupted.

Tonight I had a need for peace and quiet. Our grandson is here for the night, and my son had a bunch of friends over. I was getting claustrophobic and just decided to slip away and take a walk. I was out for only 30 minutes but it did wonders. The air was thick and humid, but everything was fresh from the rain. Walking past stately old houses with just a few windows lit I thought about the people inside. All of them have thier own lives, things to do, and day to day problems. I felt the urgency of the things going on at home slipping away for a brief time. It felt good. This is a peaceful little town - only two stoplights. This is like going back in time. All the stores are closed, and most everyone is home. The old time lifestyle is strong here. How can people live in cities? There were only a few cars driving the streets, seemingly in a hurry to get where they were going. Otherwise, just quiet. I walked past a back yard with a big pile of cinderblocks stacked neatly. I wondered what they are going to do with them. Another backyard had a fountain or fish pond gurgling continuously. I caught a glimpse of an older woman sitting in her living room reading. She seemed to have found some solitude that I find so elusive. Sipping my cappucino, I caught my thoughts drifting to work tommorrow. Now I know how I can make that spreadsheet work. My needs are simple and I don't ask for much. If I can't get the quiet that I need, I'll go out and find it. As I neared home, all the familiar thoughts started returning. I need to check that laundry. Are there more dirty dishes in the sink? Is that rap music still playing on the computer? As I entered the back door, it was pleasantly quiet. I took the Peppermint Patty that I bought with the cappucino upstairs to my wife, and came back downstairs inspired to write.

[Miss Mary]

Ed, I long for a simple lifestyle like that, living in a small, sleepy little town with only 2 traffic lights. I can see that you have renewed appreciation for your little corner of the world. At least you found some good out of tragic times. We have many smaller, walking suburbs of Cincinnati. Sigh, we don't live in one. We live in one of the larger, outlying suburbs with excellent schools (consistently in the top 5 across this large city, year after year) but we have to drive everywhere. I am still looking for that ideal part-time job to fit my schedule, since I have time to look, I've been choosy. So many job ads are for areas 30 to 45 minutes from home, sitting in gridlock interstate traffic. No thanks. I'd much prefer working close to home. With gas so high, I'm tempted to just hit up a dozen or so offices within a mile from home. In case I had to walk. As Laura jokes, mom you could always ride your bike - to which we all howl - I am a major klutz on a bike.

Anyway, I'm straying off topic but your post got me thinking in a more simpler, way of life. At least that is what I ~think~ you were getting at.

Some would go bonkers living in such a small town - I am happy to read you thrive on it.

Sounds like you've got your own little Mayberry. Hang on to it!

Mary

[streetsoldier]

Ed and Mary,

I am constantly in search of, not only quiet, but "my space"; a time when I can do what I wish, when I want. As many know, I can't move around much. Taking Annabelle "side" for about a block is the limit of my range.

And yes, I live in a small town, too; but my neighbors keep to themselves, and I really cannot say, in the "old" sense that I HAVE "neighbors".

I understand and appreciate the need for silence, and also some degree of self-nurturing; this last is difficult for me, as I have always "lived to serve others". I am getting better at it, although I still have to negotiate (and renegotiate) with family members to accomplish some semblace of it.

As to Katrina and Rita? I find myself watching helplessly at all of the destruction, wanting to do something, yet unable to contribute a dime. Time I have in abundance...disability precludes employing it in the service of the stricken. In the meantime, I have four walls and Annabelle (she be a ho')...and that's more than many of my fellow citizens can say during this time. And, I am thankful for that.

[therock1811]

I too sometimes have to go looking for solitude. I don't find it at home or here at school, although here I'm not dealing with 3 brothers. So when I need a break from home, and its frustrations, I go to the skate park, or I just take a long walk. My town, like Mary's, is a big suburb. Lots of traffic lights. But then, when I go walking, there's just something about being away from the frustrations that feels pretty darn good.

[Miss Mary]

As far as solitude goes, an hour in my local library is a real break. Just reading magazines, looking thru new books, etc. I know I could check them out but I'd rather pick up a newly released magazine, not available for check out yet and peruse it.

Lately I've been really needing a break like this. Our youngest daughter has ADD and the start of this school year has been really tough. I feel as though I'm back in 10th Grade at times. She's quite bright, it's just getting her to prioritize, stay organized and work hard, is a very hard balance to work out. At age 15, she's able to do at least 50% of this work herself. But I get pulled into the daily drama of it all. And somedays I need solitude also!

We all need our own little corner of quiet time. That's why I enjoy reading so much.

Bill - I know you want to give back but look at this way - you did already, for years. It may not be enough but for now, it is all you can do. Someone told me that after my cancer surgeries. I had been very involved with the PTA and a fellow member said, let the younger mom's pitch in. You've done your time......sort of like passing the torch on to someone else. But it is very hard to deal with when you are used to helping out, huh? Feel for you....

Mary

[Stephanie]

I ALWAYS need solitude to recharge my batteries and home is the source for me. I don't have the emotional or mental energy to keep goin' and goin' like the Energizer Bunny. People like to go to the gym and work out to relieve stress - I like to be home in my own space.

I have a wonderful neighborhood with nice neighbors. The town is kind of large with a major University based here - Rowan University, formerly Glassboro State College. It has it's Main Street, it's major roadways, eclectic neighborhoods. It's a nice town to live in.

I feel very fortunate that I HAVE all of this, compared to some people now down along the coast that do not have anything. I can't imagine what I'd do and feel if I was in the same situation. I'm sure I'd be devastated.

[azskyman]

Ed, your written words said a whole lot to me. I felt as though I was walking beside you, not saying much, but taking in the sights and sounds of a simpler life. You are luckier than most because you can drift out into the neighborhood and hear the sounds, smell the smells, and see the nuances that make it "small town" comfortable. Many can not see that at all. Their lives are so cluttered with everything else that escape and appreciation are out of their reach as well.

I lived in a small town. Now in city of 230,000 in a metroplex of millions. And yet, on any given morning I can take a walk from my home through a park where solitiude is absolute and the sound of cars and trucks and planes seem distant. Just fifteen minutes into that walk I pass a riding school where young students are proudly sitting upon beautiful horses on a Saturday morning and strutting their stuff. And across the way is a park where pups are chasing frisbees for exercise, or a young couple are up and batting tennis balls in each direction.

Along the way I see mountains and sunrises. I see rabbits scurrying about, and the occasional gecko about to hide out in the shrubs for the warm day.

I know how fortunate I am; for health, for family, for opportunity, and for being in a position to give back some of this to others.

I can't take away the pain and anguish from Rita or Katrina, but I can offer to help in ways that make sense. Posting job openings at the shelter where Katrina's refugees have been staying. Or sending notes of appreciation to a friend in Houston who is CEO of one of the two hospitals that remained open during Rita...inviting he and his wife to come see us when things quiet down once again.

Ed, we all must find those moments when we can wander from the mainstream and clutter of the days, and you have captured it perfectly in your words. It is a sort of reassurance in knowing that you can do that, that you can SEE that, that you can FEEL that, without going far from your front door.

Thanks for taking that walk with me. It looks like a handful of other S2k friends have joined us, too.

[vbhoutex]

Thanks for the walk Ed. And thanks for the reminders, everyone, of what is most important in life. We each get those things in our own little ways, but get them none the less. Sometimes we need reminders like these, to "take time to smell the flowers". Miss Mary, I too had to learn to step away from the hustle and bustle of PTA, etc. after 20 years of it. Once I allowed myself to let go and let others it felt good and it feels better each year. And sometime I yearn for Gulf Breeze where I grew up. It was so idyllic and is something my children will never know, at least as children, since they are now adults. Sandi understands what I am talking about. She has been there long enough to know.